* Porridge for breakfast! (This is exciting because I want to get back into the habit of having breakfast beyond a hurried coffee...)
* More plans for when Megan and Matiu are here...
* A plate of ANZAC biscuits for an Aboriginal Studies class tomorrow to enjoy on the last day of term...
* My mind up about my commitment to a committee that is definitely doing more harm than good (if you're not part of the solution, aye)...
* Progress on a document which I will finish on Thursday...
* A pile of roast veges for a roast vege salad for the reading group I'm going to tomorrow nite...
* Two friends on facebook...
* A decision.
Oh, and then I unmade the decision.
And then I made it again.
Then I decided to put it off...
* A regret (can you make a regret? hmmm... that I won't be home to attend the launch of the new Maori literary journal Ora Nui which is being launched in Auckland... I *wish* I could be there! Auckland-based people, go! Go! Enjoy! ... And I'm very proud to be in the lineup... along some fabulous and amazing people... can't wait to get my copy and read it cover to cover and back again!
I've talked a lot about my disappointment with the recent elections in NZ, and *the first day of business* after the election the dodgy government has already announced it won't be consulting with the public on a coalmine (yeah, they hit the ground running... and here I was hoping they'd just hit the ground or be running away... hehe...), but it's good to be reminded about the power of creativity and the sense that things continue.
They go on.
We make plates of ANZAC biscuits. We friend people. We make plans.
We go to bed and sleep and dream...
Alice is on sabbatical from 1 July 2011 to 30 June 2012... this is her chance to recharge her batteries... to write.
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
I'd like to teach the world to...
... well, the song we sang in primary school would have finished "sing" but anyone who has heard me sing will surely hope I have something else teachable up my sleeve...
I've been thinking a lot about teaching today.
I've been working on a document about my own teaching, I've had emails from students, I've communicated with students on facebook, I had a chat with Nadine about teaching Miria George's amazing play And What Remains, I've been in communication with someone from our iwi Education Working Group, I watched a trailer someone posted on fb for a documentary about kindergartens in Switzerland which are held in the forest, I've heard from some people about a document they've been producing about the high school curriculum at home in NZ, and I've been in touch with my Mum who has been a teacher all her working life. Oh, and I got a text from Megan as she and Matiu were off to school camp.
That's a lot of teaching!
A lot of teachers... a lot of learners... a lot of books, classrooms, reading, writing, thinking, pedagogy... a lot of whanau... a lot of aspirations.
There's a guy called William Germano who writes about academic publishing (he works in publishing himself) and in his book which I love about being an early-career academic, called From Dissertation to Book, he writes "The scholar's life is a writing life." I have found this to be true, and this blog is one of the ways in which I am using te tau okioki as an opportunity to renew and revitalise and refocus my scholarly life by writing...
But the scholar's life is also a teaching life: inside the classroom, outside the classroom; in deliberate, unexpected and unintended ways.
Teaching, on a good day, isn't about the teacher at all... I aspire to teach like a disease: I hope that what happens in and around my classrooms is contagious, unavoidable, incurable. I hope it spreads and mutates in such a way that it's difficult to even trace it back to me... that my students take hold of what happens during our time together and bring that into their own spaces in ways that make sense to them...
So, as I write tonite ('the scholar's life is a writing life' after all), I find myself reflecting on teaching as articulated by the amazing African-American scholar, writer and teacher bell hooks in her amazing book Teaching to Transgress:
“the academy is not paradise. But learning is a place where paradise can be created. The classroom, with all its limitations, remains a location of possibility… This is education as the practice of freedom.”
Education as the practice of freedom. Amen to that!
I've been thinking a lot about teaching today.
I've been working on a document about my own teaching, I've had emails from students, I've communicated with students on facebook, I had a chat with Nadine about teaching Miria George's amazing play And What Remains, I've been in communication with someone from our iwi Education Working Group, I watched a trailer someone posted on fb for a documentary about kindergartens in Switzerland which are held in the forest, I've heard from some people about a document they've been producing about the high school curriculum at home in NZ, and I've been in touch with my Mum who has been a teacher all her working life. Oh, and I got a text from Megan as she and Matiu were off to school camp.
That's a lot of teaching!
A lot of teachers... a lot of learners... a lot of books, classrooms, reading, writing, thinking, pedagogy... a lot of whanau... a lot of aspirations.
There's a guy called William Germano who writes about academic publishing (he works in publishing himself) and in his book which I love about being an early-career academic, called From Dissertation to Book, he writes "The scholar's life is a writing life." I have found this to be true, and this blog is one of the ways in which I am using te tau okioki as an opportunity to renew and revitalise and refocus my scholarly life by writing...
But the scholar's life is also a teaching life: inside the classroom, outside the classroom; in deliberate, unexpected and unintended ways.
Teaching, on a good day, isn't about the teacher at all... I aspire to teach like a disease: I hope that what happens in and around my classrooms is contagious, unavoidable, incurable. I hope it spreads and mutates in such a way that it's difficult to even trace it back to me... that my students take hold of what happens during our time together and bring that into their own spaces in ways that make sense to them...
So, as I write tonite ('the scholar's life is a writing life' after all), I find myself reflecting on teaching as articulated by the amazing African-American scholar, writer and teacher bell hooks in her amazing book Teaching to Transgress:
“the academy is not paradise. But learning is a place where paradise can be created. The classroom, with all its limitations, remains a location of possibility… This is education as the practice of freedom.”
Education as the practice of freedom. Amen to that!
Monday, 28 November 2011
ac-cen-tuate the positive
I'm disappointed, so I'm going to focus on stuff to celebrate.
I found my book on amazon.com today! Amazing - made it feel like it's actually really going to be published one day!! Woohoo! I love the cover - it's one that will be easy to find on the bookshelf! - and the painting by Michel Tuffery is just amazing. I'm a very lucky girl. It's due out May 2012 - and when I posted it on facebook I got a lot of really lovely supportive responses. Feels good :)
In other news, I have to brag about the CLEVERNESS of my honours students this year - all three of my honours research essay students did very well - I am very proud of them!!!!
I'm going to see megan and Matiu in less than a month! 20th December! Woohoo!!
This afternoon I went on a lovely long walk with my friend Sarah - we walked to the supermarket (usually it's 2 subway stops away but we thought we'd take advantage of the relatively warm weather and we both needed to stretch our legs) and she took me to a great independent cafe with very yummy gingerbread lattes and apple loaf... mmmmm...
And finally, my Dad emailed me a hilarious response to Chris's joke on facebook which I had in my blog yesterday... I thought I'd share it with you tonite (think about it - it's funny when you get it):
I found my book on amazon.com today! Amazing - made it feel like it's actually really going to be published one day!! Woohoo! I love the cover - it's one that will be easy to find on the bookshelf! - and the painting by Michel Tuffery is just amazing. I'm a very lucky girl. It's due out May 2012 - and when I posted it on facebook I got a lot of really lovely supportive responses. Feels good :)
In other news, I have to brag about the CLEVERNESS of my honours students this year - all three of my honours research essay students did very well - I am very proud of them!!!!
I'm going to see megan and Matiu in less than a month! 20th December! Woohoo!!
This afternoon I went on a lovely long walk with my friend Sarah - we walked to the supermarket (usually it's 2 subway stops away but we thought we'd take advantage of the relatively warm weather and we both needed to stretch our legs) and she took me to a great independent cafe with very yummy gingerbread lattes and apple loaf... mmmmm...
And finally, my Dad emailed me a hilarious response to Chris's joke on facebook which I had in my blog yesterday... I thought I'd share it with you tonite (think about it - it's funny when you get it):
"To extend Chris's quote 48% without families voted in 60 without fathers..?" Hahahahahahahahahaha... |
Sunday, 27 November 2011
election 2011
There's so much to say, and so little to say.
I'm angry and sad and worried.
The Greens and MMP are the winners on the day, although those feel like bittersweet victories in the larger context of low voter turnout and a National government.
Do these people really not understand what they just voted for?
I'm too sad about it all... after a day of running the gammut of emotions, words fail me tonite.
So I'll pass the microphone to one of my besties from high school days, Chris Tamaiparea. On a fb post this morning he wrote:
"48%. Who knew there were so many NZers without families."
I'm angry and sad and worried.
The Greens and MMP are the winners on the day, although those feel like bittersweet victories in the larger context of low voter turnout and a National government.
Do these people really not understand what they just voted for?
I'm too sad about it all... after a day of running the gammut of emotions, words fail me tonite.
So I'll pass the microphone to one of my besties from high school days, Chris Tamaiparea. On a fb post this morning he wrote:
"48%. Who knew there were so many NZers without families."
Saturday, 26 November 2011
waiting...
...for election results
...to hear back from someone
...for the jug to boil (it's 12.33am but i've got a long nite of election coverage ahead of me so need coffee!)
...to make some decisions
...for a house-cleaning fairy to magically appear and sort out my apartment!
...for a bad haircut to grow out (i miss doreen at studio 77, queens rd, panmure!)
...for the day i don't wake up already feeling like i'm running late on everything on my 'to do' list
...for someone to buy Mum and Dad's house in Palmy
...for snow to arrive in Toronto!
...for Megan and Matiu to arrive, in less than a month now
...for election results (still)...
...to hear back from someone
...for the jug to boil (it's 12.33am but i've got a long nite of election coverage ahead of me so need coffee!)
...to make some decisions
...for a house-cleaning fairy to magically appear and sort out my apartment!
...for a bad haircut to grow out (i miss doreen at studio 77, queens rd, panmure!)
...for the day i don't wake up already feeling like i'm running late on everything on my 'to do' list
...for someone to buy Mum and Dad's house in Palmy
...for snow to arrive in Toronto!
...for Megan and Matiu to arrive, in less than a month now
...for election results (still)...
Friday, 25 November 2011
snow: check. frozen river: check. vote in nz election: check.
I caught the train to Ottawa today and cast my vote in the NZ elections. The train trip was fabulous and gorgeous and amazing...
I got to Ottawa, found my way to the High Commission, and was ushered into their man boardroom which doubled as a room for doing special votes. The guy who took me through the process was lovely - he's originally from Adelaide, and has been living in Canada and working at the High Commission for long enough that he could compare the processes of voting for this election with the past few elections. They had about 40 special votes by the time I got there today - tomorrow when they seal the box and courier it off they may have closer to 50... although it's hard to know. Interestingly (well, I thought it was interesting) this was the first time he reckoned they'd had someone from the Maori roll. Hmmm...
I was then ushered into a small office and shown a desk with pens on it; the door was closed behind me and to be completely honest it was done with that kind 'we know you'll want your provacy, come out when you're ready' look that it reminded me a bit of when you go for a urine test and you're sent up the corridor towards the loo with a small pottle in your hand. I don't even know what to make of that association - I surely hope it's not a metaphor. Hmmm. Now, although the States is decked out for Thanksgiving this week, and Canada has already started to get decked out for Christmas, the office was decked out for Elections... There was one of those white cardboard carton booth divider things which obviously is part of the package they received, although it was a bit pointless offering 'sides' to keep your vote secret when you're in a small room with a closed door. There were also election posters: two of them, one with instructions for the election and one with intructions for the referendum about voting systems. The posters had been dutifully drawing-pinned to the bulletin board behind the little desk, and as I looked at the posters I felt, well, a bit homesick I suppose.
At the centre of each poster was a sample of what the ballot/ referendum looked like, and flanking that one either side were instructions in Maori and in English. Then, surrounding those, there were all of these other translations of the instructions in a whole range of languages. Only Maori comes 'from home' really, but over time New Zealand has gathered a few layers of languages, and I realised as I read through the languages that New Zealand is produced as a result of a very particular combination.
Maori
English
Arabic
Chinese (simplified)
Chinese (traditional)
Cook Islands Maori
Farsi
Gujurati
Hindi
Japanese
Khmer
Korean
Niuean
Punjabi
Samoan
Thai
Tokelauan
Tongan
Vietnamese
This wasn't bland multiculturalism (or, indeed, Canadian multiculturalism despite where we were or, I suppose, given how embassies etc work, weren't) but it was very specific multilingualism which could only have been in NZ. This particular combination of languages tells a range of stories about history and migrations: about NZ as a refuge, a destination, a gracious host, a violent colonial power. I kept looking at the list, reading some of the familiar words (from the Pacific lanaguages) and thinking about people who I know who come from these language groups... including those who would look at their own language in the way I look at the Maori one: fiercely proud it's there, but relying on the English for meaning.
I was so struck by the lineup of languages that I completed my vote then took the black pen and wrote them on the inside of my hand... the whole list... in two columns on my left palm. As I left the small office and went back into the boardroom to place my envelope in the election-themed box, I felt a bit like I had written things on my hand so I could cheat on a test. But what test would it be? Did I do anything wrong? Why did I write them down anyway? What did they really represent to me? Am I exoticising them? Appropriating them? Acknowledging them?
For the rest of the afternoon, then the evening bus ride back, and now in my lounge in Toronto again, I have a gradually-fading lineup of languages on my left hand. It's not the hand that ticked the boxes, it's not the hand that sealed the envelope or posted it through the slot in the box. But I suspect it's the hand I'll remember when I think about this vote in time to come.
snow outside the window |
I was then ushered into a small office and shown a desk with pens on it; the door was closed behind me and to be completely honest it was done with that kind 'we know you'll want your provacy, come out when you're ready' look that it reminded me a bit of when you go for a urine test and you're sent up the corridor towards the loo with a small pottle in your hand. I don't even know what to make of that association - I surely hope it's not a metaphor. Hmmm. Now, although the States is decked out for Thanksgiving this week, and Canada has already started to get decked out for Christmas, the office was decked out for Elections... There was one of those white cardboard carton booth divider things which obviously is part of the package they received, although it was a bit pointless offering 'sides' to keep your vote secret when you're in a small room with a closed door. There were also election posters: two of them, one with instructions for the election and one with intructions for the referendum about voting systems. The posters had been dutifully drawing-pinned to the bulletin board behind the little desk, and as I looked at the posters I felt, well, a bit homesick I suppose.
At the centre of each poster was a sample of what the ballot/ referendum looked like, and flanking that one either side were instructions in Maori and in English. Then, surrounding those, there were all of these other translations of the instructions in a whole range of languages. Only Maori comes 'from home' really, but over time New Zealand has gathered a few layers of languages, and I realised as I read through the languages that New Zealand is produced as a result of a very particular combination.
Maori
English
Arabic
Chinese (simplified)
Chinese (traditional)
Cook Islands Maori
Farsi
Gujurati
Hindi
Japanese
Khmer
Korean
Niuean
Punjabi
Samoan
Thai
Tokelauan
Tongan
Vietnamese
This wasn't bland multiculturalism (or, indeed, Canadian multiculturalism despite where we were or, I suppose, given how embassies etc work, weren't) but it was very specific multilingualism which could only have been in NZ. This particular combination of languages tells a range of stories about history and migrations: about NZ as a refuge, a destination, a gracious host, a violent colonial power. I kept looking at the list, reading some of the familiar words (from the Pacific lanaguages) and thinking about people who I know who come from these language groups... including those who would look at their own language in the way I look at the Maori one: fiercely proud it's there, but relying on the English for meaning.
I was so struck by the lineup of languages that I completed my vote then took the black pen and wrote them on the inside of my hand... the whole list... in two columns on my left palm. As I left the small office and went back into the boardroom to place my envelope in the election-themed box, I felt a bit like I had written things on my hand so I could cheat on a test. But what test would it be? Did I do anything wrong? Why did I write them down anyway? What did they really represent to me? Am I exoticising them? Appropriating them? Acknowledging them?
For the rest of the afternoon, then the evening bus ride back, and now in my lounge in Toronto again, I have a gradually-fading lineup of languages on my left hand. It's not the hand that ticked the boxes, it's not the hand that sealed the envelope or posted it through the slot in the box. But I suspect it's the hand I'll remember when I think about this vote in time to come.
Thursday, 24 November 2011
overthrowing the government
In the morning (well, it's already the morning, so technically I suppose I should say 'In a few hours') I will be boarding a train for Ottawa.
I'm off to cast my vote.
Yes, there are plenty of other ways I could cast my vote while I'm overseas - I could post, fax or courier it no problem. But for some reason I really want to be there and put the vote in the ballot box. Plus I've heard the train trip to Ottawa from Toronto is amazing.
I posted about this on facebook today, and a lot of people responded to what I said. The more I thought about it, the more pleased I was that I've decided to go and vote in person.
Because voting - not just who I vote for but where I vote - says a lot about me. It's yet another genealogy (a 'genealogy of experience' as my amazing friend Aroha Harris might call it) which makes me who I am. And explains me to myself. Oh and explains me to others. So here goes:
2008
Last election i voted at my own marae, Waiwhetu. Megan and I went, and we took Matiu with us. That evening, the three of us went to our cousin Daniel's place and had an 'election party' where we made food in the theme of the parties we'd voted for (red meat for Labour, hummus and veges with wholemeal pita for Green, a chocolate cake with a Maori flag on the top made from red & black icing and slivered almonds) and played election-nite themed drinking games as we watched the coverage. I made coalition jellies for dessert, and we used teaspoons to scoop red, green and dark red layers of jelly from little glasses. The drinking games were fun, but they were also handy: we were pleased to have the blow softened a little when the outcome was announced.
2005
I voted at an intermediate school up the road from my grandparents' place in Napier on a very hot day. They'd already cast special votes because Nana wasn't so mobile by then, and off I drove to find a place I could, you know, have my say. My grandparents were deeply committed to voting as a right and a privilege, and I am sure it would be unimaginable to them that any of us would vote for anything but Labour. (Actually, I've often voted a further left than Labour - but that's because I think Labour can forget who they are sometimes and get too cosy to the centre.) We have buried both Nana and Grandad since then.
2002
Although I was living in the States at the time, I voted at NZ House in London. Because of the way that empire works, yes, even in 2002, it was cheaper for me to get a flight home to NZ from Ithaca (NY) by buying a separate ticket to London and then a ticket from London to NZ. Yep, even though one of the London-to-NZ itinerary options was to fly back to NY on my way to NZ. Bizarre but true. So, I decided to stop off on the way home and have a look around and catch up with a couple of mates in London, and cast my vote at NZ House feeling (to be honest) a bitt like one of the rabble. Those of us NZers who'd decided to live in the US or wherever else sometimes felt that living in the UK was a bit, um, obvious... so being just one of the 'Kiwis' voting in London was interesting but also one of those strange experiences where you want to yell out 'I'm not like everyone else!' even as you know that, in fact, you probably are.
1999/ 1996
I can't remember where I was in 99 and 96! One of them was at a school in Sandringham, in Auckland, because I lived at a student flat nearby - but that could have been either year! And I have a memory of watching the elections one nite at my auntie's house in Hastings, although it's possible that was before I was old enough to vote. Hmmm... the 90s... a bit of a mush...
1993
... and for my first election I was still in high school - a seventh former, now an extinct species - and I went with my Dad to Glenbrae School, a primary school in my home neighbourhood of GI in Auckland.
Taking the opportunity to overthrow the government this year? Absolutely. I refuse to accept we have to resign ourselves to more of the same... so, next time I blog I will have exercised my democratic right and cast my vote. Fingers crossed.
I'm off to cast my vote.
Yes, there are plenty of other ways I could cast my vote while I'm overseas - I could post, fax or courier it no problem. But for some reason I really want to be there and put the vote in the ballot box. Plus I've heard the train trip to Ottawa from Toronto is amazing.
I posted about this on facebook today, and a lot of people responded to what I said. The more I thought about it, the more pleased I was that I've decided to go and vote in person.
Because voting - not just who I vote for but where I vote - says a lot about me. It's yet another genealogy (a 'genealogy of experience' as my amazing friend Aroha Harris might call it) which makes me who I am. And explains me to myself. Oh and explains me to others. So here goes:
2008
Last election i voted at my own marae, Waiwhetu. Megan and I went, and we took Matiu with us. That evening, the three of us went to our cousin Daniel's place and had an 'election party' where we made food in the theme of the parties we'd voted for (red meat for Labour, hummus and veges with wholemeal pita for Green, a chocolate cake with a Maori flag on the top made from red & black icing and slivered almonds) and played election-nite themed drinking games as we watched the coverage. I made coalition jellies for dessert, and we used teaspoons to scoop red, green and dark red layers of jelly from little glasses. The drinking games were fun, but they were also handy: we were pleased to have the blow softened a little when the outcome was announced.
2005
I voted at an intermediate school up the road from my grandparents' place in Napier on a very hot day. They'd already cast special votes because Nana wasn't so mobile by then, and off I drove to find a place I could, you know, have my say. My grandparents were deeply committed to voting as a right and a privilege, and I am sure it would be unimaginable to them that any of us would vote for anything but Labour. (Actually, I've often voted a further left than Labour - but that's because I think Labour can forget who they are sometimes and get too cosy to the centre.) We have buried both Nana and Grandad since then.
2002
Although I was living in the States at the time, I voted at NZ House in London. Because of the way that empire works, yes, even in 2002, it was cheaper for me to get a flight home to NZ from Ithaca (NY) by buying a separate ticket to London and then a ticket from London to NZ. Yep, even though one of the London-to-NZ itinerary options was to fly back to NY on my way to NZ. Bizarre but true. So, I decided to stop off on the way home and have a look around and catch up with a couple of mates in London, and cast my vote at NZ House feeling (to be honest) a bitt like one of the rabble. Those of us NZers who'd decided to live in the US or wherever else sometimes felt that living in the UK was a bit, um, obvious... so being just one of the 'Kiwis' voting in London was interesting but also one of those strange experiences where you want to yell out 'I'm not like everyone else!' even as you know that, in fact, you probably are.
1999/ 1996
I can't remember where I was in 99 and 96! One of them was at a school in Sandringham, in Auckland, because I lived at a student flat nearby - but that could have been either year! And I have a memory of watching the elections one nite at my auntie's house in Hastings, although it's possible that was before I was old enough to vote. Hmmm... the 90s... a bit of a mush...
1993
... and for my first election I was still in high school - a seventh former, now an extinct species - and I went with my Dad to Glenbrae School, a primary school in my home neighbourhood of GI in Auckland.
Taking the opportunity to overthrow the government this year? Absolutely. I refuse to accept we have to resign ourselves to more of the same... so, next time I blog I will have exercised my democratic right and cast my vote. Fingers crossed.
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
home again, home again, jiggety jig!
I'm in PJs, lying on my comfy blue couch in my lounge in Toronto as I write this. I'm tired, but it was a great trip.
There are reasons to go back - especially to the archives in St Louis now that I've got more of a handle of what to look for - but also to archives in Chicago and perhaps elsewhere in Northern Illinois. Plus I'll take Mum and Dad to Springfield when they're here next year :)
But for now, it's reflection time. And sleep time.
So I'll share one of the things that struck me while I was away over the past week: taking risks. All of the stories I heard about included people taking risks... with careers, with ideas, with moving around, with love. Each of these risks, which must have seemed unimaginable and bizarre at the time, now take their place in family histories in ways that make them feel obvious and even, in some ways, ordinary.
Yes, I'm the result of a long line of risktakers on many sides of my family and for some reason that feels reassuring tonite. Of course the present is always so deeply shaped by the past that to point this out is almost redundant. And yet, it's worth thinking about all the same. Risk taking. Imagining how things could be different. 'Feeling the fear and doing it anyway' as they say.
I feel like I'm on the edge of several precipices in my life right now, peering over and thinking about where to jump and where to pull back to a more comfortable place. While I wouldn't want to take risks just so I can tell myself I'm a risktaker (cos, um, that would more just make me superficial), I also know - and have had reaffirmed in Illinois, Missouri and Indiana - that the bigger risk would be to take no risks at all.
There are reasons to go back - especially to the archives in St Louis now that I've got more of a handle of what to look for - but also to archives in Chicago and perhaps elsewhere in Northern Illinois. Plus I'll take Mum and Dad to Springfield when they're here next year :)
But for now, it's reflection time. And sleep time.
So I'll share one of the things that struck me while I was away over the past week: taking risks. All of the stories I heard about included people taking risks... with careers, with ideas, with moving around, with love. Each of these risks, which must have seemed unimaginable and bizarre at the time, now take their place in family histories in ways that make them feel obvious and even, in some ways, ordinary.
Yes, I'm the result of a long line of risktakers on many sides of my family and for some reason that feels reassuring tonite. Of course the present is always so deeply shaped by the past that to point this out is almost redundant. And yet, it's worth thinking about all the same. Risk taking. Imagining how things could be different. 'Feeling the fear and doing it anyway' as they say.
I feel like I'm on the edge of several precipices in my life right now, peering over and thinking about where to jump and where to pull back to a more comfortable place. While I wouldn't want to take risks just so I can tell myself I'm a risktaker (cos, um, that would more just make me superficial), I also know - and have had reaffirmed in Illinois, Missouri and Indiana - that the bigger risk would be to take no risks at all.
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
Last nite in the Land of Lincoln. Oh, Land of Hamuera. Um, Land of Luther?
At the Concordia Seminary in Fort Wayne today I met Bob, who is a very enthusiastic historian... fascinating and fascinated, he is like Lutheran Church Google On Legs. A really lovely man, and he is very keen to help figure out some of The Hamuera Story. He's hilarious, but also a kind of understated quiet man, so if you're not listening carefully you can miss the jokes until they're already a minute old... He also happens to know millions of things that help put things in place and flesh out the context... and he's also totally passionate about his own project, his own guy, a Lutheran pastor who was born 201 years ago, in that adorable way Trus Geeks have of seeing that every conversation clearly links back to their own research expertise! Awesome. I believe my cousin Daniel woudl call him a Classic.
As we talked, finally getting to meet each other in person after emailing back and forth about my trip and my research, he told me a bit about himself, and used a term which was hilarious but also kind of interesting. "I'm a naturalized Lutheran" he said, explaining that he grew up in a town where a Lutheran church was the nearest option and so he attended there despite coming from a motley crew of Protestant makes and models.
A naturalized Lutheran.
Describing the church in terms of citizenship is pretty fascinating. I'm not talking about faith here, or spirituality; that is a whole other talk show. I'm talking about the Lutheran church.
Generally speaking, people acquire natural or automatic citizenship on the basis of two basic systems of rights known as jus sanguinis (the rights granted by blood) and jus soli (the rights granted by soil, or presence, or perhaps - especially in late 2011 - we might say, by occupation). This doesn't mean that descent or location always guarantees citizenship - that depends on the rules of the nation - but citizenship will be granted because a person satisfies a requirement which is a version of either or both of these rights. (Some people argue that it is helpful to recognise a third category by which citizenship is granted, and this is particularly pertinent in the case of US Empire: jus meritum or citizenship on the basis of military service.)
The other way to achieve citizenship is naturalization, a process which is always far more involved and conscious than the other bases of blood and soil. If you haven't been naturalised yourself, ask someone who has. There's information to memorise, anthems to learn, background checks to perform, allegiences to be sworn, and so on. The naturalised citizen is always the exemplary citizen, in that they have consciously stated their willingness to be loyal to the Queen, learned the rules of baseball, demonstrated their political openmindedness (these examples are from the naturalization texts of three different countries) and so on... and despite this, theywill always hang aroud the edges of the nation itself. Most likely to be asked 'where are you from?' Most likely to be accused of 'buying up New Zealand land' when chauvanist bigots want to protect land for white ownership only and pretend it is in the 'national interest.' Least likely to be understood as someone from the nation. Ironically, then, the delighful person whose truck I saw yesterday which bore the sticker "American by birth, Southern by the grace of God" is likely to know far less American history than the person who naturalised last week or who will naturalise tomorrow.
My citizenship in the Lutheran church is probably a combination of jus sanguinis and jus soli. I am a Te Punga, and a Gose, after all! And I was baptised and confirmed a Lutheran and can find my way around the inside of a Lutheran order of service in any number of countries and places. I've talked a lot about privilege over the course of the blog, and I suppose this is my Lutheran privilege. I am able to walk into these archives, and not just be welcomed but be fascinating because I'm a direct descendent of 'the only fruit of the Lutheran mission to the Maoris.' Unlike Bob, I have the privilege of being thoughtless and unreflecting about my Lutheranness, and - like people who have only ever lived in NZ and don't cheer for the Lions but have an EU passport through a British gradparent - I can choose to exercise of claim my being Lutheran regardless of my own personal faith or spiritual commitments.
I went to church yesterday (for the first time in quite a while, I'll admit) because I was in Missouri and I figured it was the right thing to do. I went up to communion, and despite the Missouri Synod preferring non-Missouri people (yes, even other Lutherans) to refrain from coming to communion in a Missouri Synod church, I decided to go up. I did this respectfully, and didn't go just to break the rules (it's their tikanga, after all) but there was an option to go to receive a blessing instead (as a kind of compromise I suppose) and I figured I would do what felt right once I got up there: accept communion or a blessing. Communion felt right on the day. I realise now as I write this that as I knelt there, thinking about kneeling alongside Te Pungas at various altar rails my whole life, I felt a strong sense of citizenship in the Missouri Synod of the Lutheran church not on the basis of any process of conscious or deliberate decision (a naturalization of sorts) but on the basis of, well, blood and soil. Genealogy and land. Descent and occupation.
I remember thinking about this when I was in Australia, too. The sense of thinking more carefully about being Lutheran from birth. Hamuera came here to the Land of Lincoln - this part of the midwest - because he was Lutheran, and my project has been more interested in his being Maori. And yet, now I'm here in the Land of Hamuera, I find it's inextricably the Land of Luther as well.
As we talked, finally getting to meet each other in person after emailing back and forth about my trip and my research, he told me a bit about himself, and used a term which was hilarious but also kind of interesting. "I'm a naturalized Lutheran" he said, explaining that he grew up in a town where a Lutheran church was the nearest option and so he attended there despite coming from a motley crew of Protestant makes and models.
A naturalized Lutheran.
Describing the church in terms of citizenship is pretty fascinating. I'm not talking about faith here, or spirituality; that is a whole other talk show. I'm talking about the Lutheran church.
Generally speaking, people acquire natural or automatic citizenship on the basis of two basic systems of rights known as jus sanguinis (the rights granted by blood) and jus soli (the rights granted by soil, or presence, or perhaps - especially in late 2011 - we might say, by occupation). This doesn't mean that descent or location always guarantees citizenship - that depends on the rules of the nation - but citizenship will be granted because a person satisfies a requirement which is a version of either or both of these rights. (Some people argue that it is helpful to recognise a third category by which citizenship is granted, and this is particularly pertinent in the case of US Empire: jus meritum or citizenship on the basis of military service.)
The other way to achieve citizenship is naturalization, a process which is always far more involved and conscious than the other bases of blood and soil. If you haven't been naturalised yourself, ask someone who has. There's information to memorise, anthems to learn, background checks to perform, allegiences to be sworn, and so on. The naturalised citizen is always the exemplary citizen, in that they have consciously stated their willingness to be loyal to the Queen, learned the rules of baseball, demonstrated their political openmindedness (these examples are from the naturalization texts of three different countries) and so on... and despite this, theywill always hang aroud the edges of the nation itself. Most likely to be asked 'where are you from?' Most likely to be accused of 'buying up New Zealand land' when chauvanist bigots want to protect land for white ownership only and pretend it is in the 'national interest.' Least likely to be understood as someone from the nation. Ironically, then, the delighful person whose truck I saw yesterday which bore the sticker "American by birth, Southern by the grace of God" is likely to know far less American history than the person who naturalised last week or who will naturalise tomorrow.
My citizenship in the Lutheran church is probably a combination of jus sanguinis and jus soli. I am a Te Punga, and a Gose, after all! And I was baptised and confirmed a Lutheran and can find my way around the inside of a Lutheran order of service in any number of countries and places. I've talked a lot about privilege over the course of the blog, and I suppose this is my Lutheran privilege. I am able to walk into these archives, and not just be welcomed but be fascinating because I'm a direct descendent of 'the only fruit of the Lutheran mission to the Maoris.' Unlike Bob, I have the privilege of being thoughtless and unreflecting about my Lutheranness, and - like people who have only ever lived in NZ and don't cheer for the Lions but have an EU passport through a British gradparent - I can choose to exercise of claim my being Lutheran regardless of my own personal faith or spiritual commitments.
I went to church yesterday (for the first time in quite a while, I'll admit) because I was in Missouri and I figured it was the right thing to do. I went up to communion, and despite the Missouri Synod preferring non-Missouri people (yes, even other Lutherans) to refrain from coming to communion in a Missouri Synod church, I decided to go up. I did this respectfully, and didn't go just to break the rules (it's their tikanga, after all) but there was an option to go to receive a blessing instead (as a kind of compromise I suppose) and I figured I would do what felt right once I got up there: accept communion or a blessing. Communion felt right on the day. I realise now as I write this that as I knelt there, thinking about kneeling alongside Te Pungas at various altar rails my whole life, I felt a strong sense of citizenship in the Missouri Synod of the Lutheran church not on the basis of any process of conscious or deliberate decision (a naturalization of sorts) but on the basis of, well, blood and soil. Genealogy and land. Descent and occupation.
I remember thinking about this when I was in Australia, too. The sense of thinking more carefully about being Lutheran from birth. Hamuera came here to the Land of Lincoln - this part of the midwest - because he was Lutheran, and my project has been more interested in his being Maori. And yet, now I'm here in the Land of Hamuera, I find it's inextricably the Land of Luther as well.
Monday, 21 November 2011
another nite, another state, another timezone
I'm in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Although many placenames in settler colonies are the marks of colonial history (because, um, Wellington isn't exactly a Maori word aye), there's something about the ones in the US called 'Fort X' which seem just that bit more explicit. This place was a fort. And forts are used in wars. Aye.
The drive to Fort Wayne was very long... I think I must have left St Louis around 1pm, and I pulled in sometime after 9pm... oh, but the 1pm was in Missouri (and Illinois) time, whereas the 9pm was in Indiana time. So it was really only a 7 hour drive that just sounds like it took 8 hours because back before I hit Indianapolis further back down the road there I hit a state line... an imaginary border that doesn't exist but has the power to change the time.
I didn't believe the first couple of clocks which showed the Indiana time. Then I remembered about driving to Chicago from the east and the time change just after Indiana (Chicago's squeezed right up next to Indiana on that end of Illinois so it's pretty close to the time change too), and realised the clocks were right and I was wrong. My clever cellphone had figured it out- and I realised that's what the little 'beep' had been sometime back.
This all reminds me of the hilarious trip to Mexico I took with my sister, our cousin Daniel and his mate Nathan, when we had travelled south but hadn't realised we'd also travelled slightly east - just enough so it made a difference when we spent a whole day in Santa Rosalia thinking how cool it was that the local people were all relaxed about timing and then were sitting around having a few beers and getting ready to go out an hour before midnite when siddenly the town around us outside errupted into celebration... and we realised in one giant thud that it was 12, not 11pm, and our trip to have a Mexican new years celebration had just been thwarted. Haha we still laugh about that!
But the really funny - and I suppose I mean peculiar rather than haha - thing about all of this is that it's all so arbitrary. These imaginary geographic spatial lines (like state lines) and the passing over timezones that they make possible.
They make other things possible, these state lines. The reason I'm in Fort Wayne is that this is the new location of Concordia Lutheran Seminary which was at Springfield back when Hamuera went there, and so it's possible there are some archives here from those days. The old seminary moved over here from Sprinfield in the mid-1970s when the buildings passed into disrepair. The thing is, it had travelled before, this seminary.
One of the women at the archives in St Louis explained to me how it weas that Indiana and St Louis and Springfield connect with each other... and it all goes back to the Civil War! I can't remember all the details, but basically (if I remember correctly) in Missouri students who were training to be ministers were exempt from serving in the Civil War, but the ones in Illinois had to go regardless. Meanwhile, the school students at an institutino here in Indiana would have had to go to the war because they were the right age for conscription too. So, the church decided to move the Springfield students down to St Louis to share accomodations and buildings with the men training at the seminary there - and the students from the high school were moved to Springfield because they were exempt there. (Eventually everyone went back to their own places, but when Springfield was closed in the 1970s it moved into buildings in Fort Wayne where the high school was based.) So, in a chess-like move the Lutheran church managed to keep all of these young men moving through the schooling and training systems so there would be an unstopping supply of pastors. Check mate. Check. Mate.
So, I'm in a Fort (right place, wrong time for this to be strictly true) in a new time (well, new to me, but also not new because now I'm back in Toronto time!)... and thinking more about these layers of history. Time and place: these are the constants, the fixed things, that I've been exploring during this trip In Search Of Hamuera. But of course they're not fixed, not at all.
The drive to Fort Wayne was very long... I think I must have left St Louis around 1pm, and I pulled in sometime after 9pm... oh, but the 1pm was in Missouri (and Illinois) time, whereas the 9pm was in Indiana time. So it was really only a 7 hour drive that just sounds like it took 8 hours because back before I hit Indianapolis further back down the road there I hit a state line... an imaginary border that doesn't exist but has the power to change the time.
I didn't believe the first couple of clocks which showed the Indiana time. Then I remembered about driving to Chicago from the east and the time change just after Indiana (Chicago's squeezed right up next to Indiana on that end of Illinois so it's pretty close to the time change too), and realised the clocks were right and I was wrong. My clever cellphone had figured it out- and I realised that's what the little 'beep' had been sometime back.
This all reminds me of the hilarious trip to Mexico I took with my sister, our cousin Daniel and his mate Nathan, when we had travelled south but hadn't realised we'd also travelled slightly east - just enough so it made a difference when we spent a whole day in Santa Rosalia thinking how cool it was that the local people were all relaxed about timing and then were sitting around having a few beers and getting ready to go out an hour before midnite when siddenly the town around us outside errupted into celebration... and we realised in one giant thud that it was 12, not 11pm, and our trip to have a Mexican new years celebration had just been thwarted. Haha we still laugh about that!
But the really funny - and I suppose I mean peculiar rather than haha - thing about all of this is that it's all so arbitrary. These imaginary geographic spatial lines (like state lines) and the passing over timezones that they make possible.
They make other things possible, these state lines. The reason I'm in Fort Wayne is that this is the new location of Concordia Lutheran Seminary which was at Springfield back when Hamuera went there, and so it's possible there are some archives here from those days. The old seminary moved over here from Sprinfield in the mid-1970s when the buildings passed into disrepair. The thing is, it had travelled before, this seminary.
One of the women at the archives in St Louis explained to me how it weas that Indiana and St Louis and Springfield connect with each other... and it all goes back to the Civil War! I can't remember all the details, but basically (if I remember correctly) in Missouri students who were training to be ministers were exempt from serving in the Civil War, but the ones in Illinois had to go regardless. Meanwhile, the school students at an institutino here in Indiana would have had to go to the war because they were the right age for conscription too. So, the church decided to move the Springfield students down to St Louis to share accomodations and buildings with the men training at the seminary there - and the students from the high school were moved to Springfield because they were exempt there. (Eventually everyone went back to their own places, but when Springfield was closed in the 1970s it moved into buildings in Fort Wayne where the high school was based.) So, in a chess-like move the Lutheran church managed to keep all of these young men moving through the schooling and training systems so there would be an unstopping supply of pastors. Check mate. Check. Mate.
So, I'm in a Fort (right place, wrong time for this to be strictly true) in a new time (well, new to me, but also not new because now I'm back in Toronto time!)... and thinking more about these layers of history. Time and place: these are the constants, the fixed things, that I've been exploring during this trip In Search Of Hamuera. But of course they're not fixed, not at all.
Sunday, 20 November 2011
Springfield, Illinois.
Wow. So now i can say I’ve been to Springfield, Illinois. And it’s a sad town – depressed and depressing – kind of like parts of upstate New York, although without the sense that at least it used to be grand 100 yrs ago. This place is so massive in our whanau imaginary... it’s all an important centre for the mythology of Hamuera coming over here to train as a pastor. It’s the centre of the Te Punga story with of family, faith, education, mobility... it has shaped all of us, even though we haven’t been here in Springfield before. (And I wonder: if we had been here would we have acquired any these values? Who knows.)
The seminary site has been taken over by the Illinois States govt – it’s now a training facility for people in correctional services... some of the buildings have been knocked down and some have been repurposed. It all looks pretty shabby though – and the surrounding neighbourhood has that kind of desperation and insularity that results from intergenerational poverty without a welfare cushion to keep the rubber from the road.
I feel good to have been there, but it was a tricky kind of homecoming. It felt so significant, but my experience of the past was so deeply shaped by my negotiation of the present. I know one version of Springfield so well, and the other versions – including the present version – might as well be another planet.
The three original brick buildings which are still standing: dining hall/ residence on left |
I found myself walking around the ‘campus’ in the grey wind of a November afternoon, trying to recognise things from photos and descriptions, attempting to push the ‘undo’ backwards-facing arrow as if the site was a word document that had been altered one time too many but that still bore the marks of its earlier richness.
snowy photo updated |
And perhaps it was all there, beneath the surface... it felt a bit like there was someone standing by me a few times, although that could have been my hyper-vigilance: more tied to street-smarts than memory.
When a security guy came out, there were more layers. This is an historical place although the history I was chasing after had long ago left the building: when I asked him questions about thetime I was interested in, he would laugh and remind me that this place was a seminary from when his mother was small as she was now 80 so he certinly wasn't around at the time... and he told me about the buildings being run down and not accessible (no lifts! only ramps into one building!). It was a slow Saturday afternoon, though, and so we both talked for a while. He was more interested in talking to me about the changes in the area, the unsavoury character of the neighbourhood (he was concerned about me wandering around by myself), the rundown buildings, the economic and social problems of Springfield. So many industries have now left Springfield that the only industry here now is the state government, and he went into some detail about the layers of corruption in Illinois politics. In his head he holds an historical map of the local area which he described to me: a factory that made electrical goods, other factories that make various things. He talked about the closure Pilsbury factory a couple of blocks away (Pilsbury makes breads and pastries), and I realised this was the looming craggy building silently but insistently tearing a corner off the picture of where the campus meets the sky. (There's something about broken windows and buildings who wear their emptiness like a thin coat. I could have been in Patea, looking at the freezing works. I could have been in Wainuiomata or Petone, looking at an ex-high school. I could even have been in Mad Ave or Esperance.)
Pilsbury Factory. Well, Ex-Pilsbury Factory actually. |
It seems so striking: everything leaves, including the seminary people to Fort Wayne Indiana and individuals like Hamuera to all the ends of the earth, but the people – some people – stay.
Back when it was a seminary, this place turned out men to share the Bread of Life.
Later, the area was busily humming along turning out Bread.
Now the correctional training facility is sprawling, trying to make the best secular use of buildings which were erected for similar but different persuits: the industry here is Life itself.
Saturday, 19 November 2011
Little Sir Echo, how do you do...?
Grandad used to sing the echo song with us when we were kids... part of the song went:
"Little Sir Echo, how do you do?
Hello (Hello) Hello (Hello)
You're a nice little echo I can tell by your voice
but you're always so far away!"
I loved the song... especially because it was my job as the kid to echo Grandad with the second "Hello" each time, and one day I totally got it: I was being the echo the song talks about! I was Little Sir Echo!
I keep thinking about the links between here and there: home in Aotearoa where I have been based all my life (yes, even when I physically live away) and home here in central Illinois and Missouri (yes, even though I only came here for the first time this week). Here and there. There and here. I'm thinking about echoes.
Some of these echoes are to do with memory. I am finding things which I realise are familiar because I've heard about them all my life... place names like Springfield, St Louis and Chicago... family names which appear on lists of Gose family members over here as well as on our own lists at home (Paul, Adele, Roy, Walter)...
Some of these echoes are thematic. The question of language, which I blogged about back when I was researching in Adelaide in July, keeps coming back... the links as well as distinctions between Maori and German languages throughout these histories. The relationship between faith and difference, and the quiet confidence of the Lutheran church in the unshakeability of an understanding of faith based on grace. The pursuit of higher education, especially as a way to move beyond present circumstances, both collectively and individually.
Some of these echoes are unexpected but nevertheless interesting to think about. I am now 36, and some days I feel like I'm kind of 'on the shelf' - that I've missed the chance to meet someone lovely just for me and settle down to have a family - and then I see the marriage certificate between Hamuera and Lydia and realise they were both 29 at the time - and Lydia being 29 back then is kind of like me getting married at 50! - so you see, there's hope ;) Other echoes... Hamuera was asked to address the seminary about the Maori world just before he left to return to NZ in 1912; I know well the feeling of talking about things so far from home, wondering (even as I speak) about what the point of this could possibly be, beyond providing exotic material for later dinnertime conversations. And another echo: this photo of the Seminary shows the size of the garden which fed the men who lived there... reminded me of vege gardens out the back of other houses: in Savoy Rd, McDonald St, Market St, Penrose St, Fergusson Dr.
Echoes between here and home... thinking about how things move, shift, reverberate... talking about, but also being or perhaps doing, the echo...
Little Sir Echo, how do you do?
Hello (Hello) Hello (Hello)
"Little Sir Echo, how do you do?
Hello (Hello) Hello (Hello)
You're a nice little echo I can tell by your voice
but you're always so far away!"
I loved the song... especially because it was my job as the kid to echo Grandad with the second "Hello" each time, and one day I totally got it: I was being the echo the song talks about! I was Little Sir Echo!
I keep thinking about the links between here and there: home in Aotearoa where I have been based all my life (yes, even when I physically live away) and home here in central Illinois and Missouri (yes, even though I only came here for the first time this week). Here and there. There and here. I'm thinking about echoes.
Some of these echoes are to do with memory. I am finding things which I realise are familiar because I've heard about them all my life... place names like Springfield, St Louis and Chicago... family names which appear on lists of Gose family members over here as well as on our own lists at home (Paul, Adele, Roy, Walter)...
Some of these echoes are thematic. The question of language, which I blogged about back when I was researching in Adelaide in July, keeps coming back... the links as well as distinctions between Maori and German languages throughout these histories. The relationship between faith and difference, and the quiet confidence of the Lutheran church in the unshakeability of an understanding of faith based on grace. The pursuit of higher education, especially as a way to move beyond present circumstances, both collectively and individually.
Some of these echoes are unexpected but nevertheless interesting to think about. I am now 36, and some days I feel like I'm kind of 'on the shelf' - that I've missed the chance to meet someone lovely just for me and settle down to have a family - and then I see the marriage certificate between Hamuera and Lydia and realise they were both 29 at the time - and Lydia being 29 back then is kind of like me getting married at 50! - so you see, there's hope ;) Other echoes... Hamuera was asked to address the seminary about the Maori world just before he left to return to NZ in 1912; I know well the feeling of talking about things so far from home, wondering (even as I speak) about what the point of this could possibly be, beyond providing exotic material for later dinnertime conversations. And another echo: this photo of the Seminary shows the size of the garden which fed the men who lived there... reminded me of vege gardens out the back of other houses: in Savoy Rd, McDonald St, Market St, Penrose St, Fergusson Dr.
Echoes between here and home... thinking about how things move, shift, reverberate... talking about, but also being or perhaps doing, the echo...
Little Sir Echo, how do you do?
Hello (Hello) Hello (Hello)
Friday, 18 November 2011
5000 words about today (5 X pictures speak 1000 words)
the view from my window, pontiac illinois, this morning. yep, it's flat around here. |
heading 'home' to springfield and st louis... figuratively and literally... |
Hamuera's class list from his final year in Seminary: he's one name up from bottom right hand corner... and yes the records are in German... |
You're not in Taranaki anymore, Dr Ropata ;) winter snow at the Springfield campus... yeah, not quite Rahotu styles |
class photo. chocolate fish if you can pick the maori boy out of the lineup. |
Thursday, 17 November 2011
In the Land of Hamuera
In a littel hotel room at the side of the road just off exit 197 off highway 55 about two hours south of Chicago sits an excited and nervous girl. She has passed several signs to Springfield, the city where her great-grandfather Hamuera trained to be a Lutheran pastor between 1912 and 1916.
Outside in the carpark is a silver car with Illinois plates that proclaim Illinois as 'Land of Lincoln' - this is where Abraham Lincoln came from, and specifically Springfield is known as Lincoln's town.
According to the folder of helpful information on the bedside table there's a Route 66 'Hall of Fame and Museum' 5 miles away in downtown Pontiac... memorialising the famous route by erecting (somewhat counter to the philosophy of Route 66 itself, I would have thought) a fixed place where people can come and stand still indoors to appreciate it all.
Of course, neither of these are why I'm here.
I'm here because, at least to my whanau, this is 'Land of Hamuera'... and a memorial of sorts to the Routes taken by our own ancestors Hamuera and Lydia between this place and the place far, far away where we belong.
Tonite marks exactly three months since I arrived in Toronto, and earlier this evening, once I flew into Chicago, I was talking with the woman at immigration about my citizenship and visa situation and I realised this is the sixth time I've been in the US since I moved to this part of the world in August. Crazy! Unimaginable!
Such privilege I enjoy, being able to cross these borders with such ease that border guards chat with me about how pretty my passport is.
Such privilege of another sort that I enjoy, with my fair looks, securing me in this kind of rural space against racism which would limit my movement in tangible ways and cut down on the range of cheerful encounters I have with strangers. I'm well beyond the inevitable angsty 'I don't look Maori' identity crisis, but so often at home (and sometimes away too) I find myself wishing my appearance was more legible: that people could 'read' my looks in a way that meant I didn't have to explain or, at best, merely reveal. And yet, sitting here in this hotel room I am struck again by what Hamuera's experience of Illinois would have been like...
Hamuera in the land of Lincoln.
Alice in the land of Hamuera.
All of us in the land of... who? Um... Chippewa, Delaware, Foxes, Illinois, Kickapoo, Miami, Ottawa, Potawotami, Sauk, Shawnee, Winebago, Wyandot...
Outside in the carpark is a silver car with Illinois plates that proclaim Illinois as 'Land of Lincoln' - this is where Abraham Lincoln came from, and specifically Springfield is known as Lincoln's town.
According to the folder of helpful information on the bedside table there's a Route 66 'Hall of Fame and Museum' 5 miles away in downtown Pontiac... memorialising the famous route by erecting (somewhat counter to the philosophy of Route 66 itself, I would have thought) a fixed place where people can come and stand still indoors to appreciate it all.
Of course, neither of these are why I'm here.
I'm here because, at least to my whanau, this is 'Land of Hamuera'... and a memorial of sorts to the Routes taken by our own ancestors Hamuera and Lydia between this place and the place far, far away where we belong.
Tonite marks exactly three months since I arrived in Toronto, and earlier this evening, once I flew into Chicago, I was talking with the woman at immigration about my citizenship and visa situation and I realised this is the sixth time I've been in the US since I moved to this part of the world in August. Crazy! Unimaginable!
Such privilege I enjoy, being able to cross these borders with such ease that border guards chat with me about how pretty my passport is.
Such privilege of another sort that I enjoy, with my fair looks, securing me in this kind of rural space against racism which would limit my movement in tangible ways and cut down on the range of cheerful encounters I have with strangers. I'm well beyond the inevitable angsty 'I don't look Maori' identity crisis, but so often at home (and sometimes away too) I find myself wishing my appearance was more legible: that people could 'read' my looks in a way that meant I didn't have to explain or, at best, merely reveal. And yet, sitting here in this hotel room I am struck again by what Hamuera's experience of Illinois would have been like...
Hamuera in the land of Lincoln.
Alice in the land of Hamuera.
All of us in the land of... who? Um... Chippewa, Delaware, Foxes, Illinois, Kickapoo, Miami, Ottawa, Potawotami, Sauk, Shawnee, Winebago, Wyandot...
lies, damned lies, and Elizabeth Rata
They say there are lies, damned lies, and statistics. I didn't post yesterday because I was so grumpy after the talk I went to in the early afternoon that I decided it would be better for all concerned if I stepped back from the keyboard...
Elizabeth Rata was speaking yesterday at the University of Toronto and I was in two minds about whether to attend her talk. A Pakeha woman with a massive chip on her shoulder, Rata is well known at home for raving on endlessly in a fact-free kind of way about biculturalism, Maori education, and Maori language. She is highly critical of what she calls 'culturalism' and the 'elite' in Maoridom, and the problems of Maori language education.
I am not going to bother trying to explain what point she makes about each of these things, because frankly her reasoning is so confused and her logic is so mixed up that it is difficult to parse her arguments at all.
Furthermore, the evidence she uses to support her claims is decontextualised, inaccurate or a fabrication most of the time and this is made possible partly by her refusal to follow the basic rules of any research. (Cite your sources, be able to name the document you have quoted on a powerpoint slide, provide an account of how you have arrived at specific statistical claims, etc.) So, I am also not going to bother repeating this questionable 'evidence' either - although three claim that stood out for me from yesterday would be that students in Maori-language schooling within the mainstream school system speak Maori language 12% of the time, that the reason Maori students in immersion don't do well in science is because we believe that "lightening comes from the earth mother," and that government scholarships for Maori university students require an elder to sign off on genealogy (this last one was a bit confusing, because I couldn't think of any scholarships 'the government' offers to Maori students at university now that Manaaki Tauira has been discontinued, and when I sought clarification about which scholarship she was referring to she said it was the scholarships offered by the Ministry of Education which, um, doesn't fund tertiary students).
Now, let me be clear that I am not being snobby or facetious here: as a teacher (and researcher) at the university level I spend quite a bit of time reading through poorly or naively constructed arguments, seeking out the key claims, figuring out how the evidence (which can often be a bit dodgy or uncarefully framed) is being used to support those claims, and usually I am capable of engaging as generously as possible with the work... but Rata's research (or so she calls it) is so deeply flawed and so poorly carried out that engaging with it on intellectual terms is impossible.
I will also be clear that I do not believe these things - biculturalism, Maori education, Maori language revitalization - are above or beyond critical thinking and thorough research-based discussion. Certainly I myself have been involved in holding up some of the assumptions or gaps that can be present in certain discussions about these, and I enjoy reading the work produced by other scholars and practitioners (Maori and non-Maori) which grapples with these topics in a way that makes us all think better and harder and, ultimately, have the opportunity to create better futures for all of us.
I am angry at Elizabeth Rata because she is an Associate Professor at the University of Auckland on the basis of such poor scholarship, and because she refuses to engage with a range of scholarship or to conduct her own research in ethical or even methodologically robust ways. This is how holocaust denial research works: regardless of the ridiculous claims and the reasons we might believe the research to be questionable for political and moral reasons, ultimately the research falls apart anyway because it cannot help but be bad research.
I suppose, at the end of the day, I disagree with Rata but this is not the problem. Her rallying cry is to call for more critical engagement with claims that are made (supposedly or actually) about Maori Education but this is not the problem either. She was rude to me and others during the talk yesterday, but hey I've seen that all before too.
The problem is that the research didn't stack up. Despite the claims she made about Maori scholars, I am in this game for the purpose of doing scholarship: I hope it's live-giving, politically relevant, space-making scholarship, but I'm not going to pretend that the tools in my belt aren't academic tools. If I was an olympic swimmer, I'd be in the pool every day. If I was a rugby player, I be at the gym or on the paddock every day. If I was a plumber, I be working with pipes and hoses every day. Me? I'm at the library, in the classroom, reading, writing, trying to find ways to think harder and better everyday.
Claim what you want, critique what you want, argue what you want... but as long as you're being paid as a scholar and flying around the world as a scholar, do it as a scholar.
Else just do it on a blog. Ha.
Elizabeth Rata was speaking yesterday at the University of Toronto and I was in two minds about whether to attend her talk. A Pakeha woman with a massive chip on her shoulder, Rata is well known at home for raving on endlessly in a fact-free kind of way about biculturalism, Maori education, and Maori language. She is highly critical of what she calls 'culturalism' and the 'elite' in Maoridom, and the problems of Maori language education.
I am not going to bother trying to explain what point she makes about each of these things, because frankly her reasoning is so confused and her logic is so mixed up that it is difficult to parse her arguments at all.
Furthermore, the evidence she uses to support her claims is decontextualised, inaccurate or a fabrication most of the time and this is made possible partly by her refusal to follow the basic rules of any research. (Cite your sources, be able to name the document you have quoted on a powerpoint slide, provide an account of how you have arrived at specific statistical claims, etc.) So, I am also not going to bother repeating this questionable 'evidence' either - although three claim that stood out for me from yesterday would be that students in Maori-language schooling within the mainstream school system speak Maori language 12% of the time, that the reason Maori students in immersion don't do well in science is because we believe that "lightening comes from the earth mother," and that government scholarships for Maori university students require an elder to sign off on genealogy (this last one was a bit confusing, because I couldn't think of any scholarships 'the government' offers to Maori students at university now that Manaaki Tauira has been discontinued, and when I sought clarification about which scholarship she was referring to she said it was the scholarships offered by the Ministry of Education which, um, doesn't fund tertiary students).
Now, let me be clear that I am not being snobby or facetious here: as a teacher (and researcher) at the university level I spend quite a bit of time reading through poorly or naively constructed arguments, seeking out the key claims, figuring out how the evidence (which can often be a bit dodgy or uncarefully framed) is being used to support those claims, and usually I am capable of engaging as generously as possible with the work... but Rata's research (or so she calls it) is so deeply flawed and so poorly carried out that engaging with it on intellectual terms is impossible.
I will also be clear that I do not believe these things - biculturalism, Maori education, Maori language revitalization - are above or beyond critical thinking and thorough research-based discussion. Certainly I myself have been involved in holding up some of the assumptions or gaps that can be present in certain discussions about these, and I enjoy reading the work produced by other scholars and practitioners (Maori and non-Maori) which grapples with these topics in a way that makes us all think better and harder and, ultimately, have the opportunity to create better futures for all of us.
I am angry at Elizabeth Rata because she is an Associate Professor at the University of Auckland on the basis of such poor scholarship, and because she refuses to engage with a range of scholarship or to conduct her own research in ethical or even methodologically robust ways. This is how holocaust denial research works: regardless of the ridiculous claims and the reasons we might believe the research to be questionable for political and moral reasons, ultimately the research falls apart anyway because it cannot help but be bad research.
I suppose, at the end of the day, I disagree with Rata but this is not the problem. Her rallying cry is to call for more critical engagement with claims that are made (supposedly or actually) about Maori Education but this is not the problem either. She was rude to me and others during the talk yesterday, but hey I've seen that all before too.
The problem is that the research didn't stack up. Despite the claims she made about Maori scholars, I am in this game for the purpose of doing scholarship: I hope it's live-giving, politically relevant, space-making scholarship, but I'm not going to pretend that the tools in my belt aren't academic tools. If I was an olympic swimmer, I'd be in the pool every day. If I was a rugby player, I be at the gym or on the paddock every day. If I was a plumber, I be working with pipes and hoses every day. Me? I'm at the library, in the classroom, reading, writing, trying to find ways to think harder and better everyday.
Claim what you want, critique what you want, argue what you want... but as long as you're being paid as a scholar and flying around the world as a scholar, do it as a scholar.
Else just do it on a blog. Ha.
Tuesday, 15 November 2011
voting in the blood
Time for another post about the upcoming election at home... less than two weeks to go...
I was looking through some online records today, trying to find some documents so I could pin down some specific dates around Hamuera's time in the USA. I was on a genealogy website, looking through a bunch of records they had uploaded... 'Te Punga' showed up several times across the vairous records: phonebook entries and arrival records of ships for my two great-uncles Uncle Martin and Uncle Fatty who had doctorates and spent time researching/ studying in the UK; ships' passenger lists for Hamuera as he travelled to Springfield (he spent a day or two in Honolulu on the way!); enlistment and military honours records for Grandad and Uncle Paul during WWII; and, by far the greatest number of hits, electoral records for voting in NZ general elections.
In one page, arranged in time order, a whole lineup of Te Pungas came of voting age in a gentle and neat pile. Starting with Hamuera and Lydia, who were both enrolled to vote in the 1919 election (Lydia had arrived in New Zealand for the first time only 6 years earlier; I am yet to find her naturalisation records, or even whether she needed to legally naturalise in order to vote). For the election, they voted from Lower Hutt because they lived in the original family house on White's Line in Waiwhetu (yes, years before the present marae was built there). For the later elections, they appear (on separate rolls, of course: Hamuera on the Maori roll and Lydia on the General) as residents of Halcombe and ultimately, for Hamuera, Auckland. After a few elections, Martha D Te Punga joins the voting members of the family, and just a couple of years later, Hamuera Paora. Finally all of the siblings appear on electoral rolls, and finally the grandchildren start to arrive: Anne Te Punga in Gisborne, and then all the cousins who followed. Because quite a few of Mum's first cousins are women who have since taken on married names, I realised this was the first time I'd seen some of them as 'Te Punga' in an official as opposed to social capacity... I mean, they're all Te Pungas all the time, but on these electoral rolls they appear as such. In black and white.
It made me think about what it means to vote. This is a coming of age activity, in which members of our whanau take advantage of the right they have to participate in our democratic system. For some reason, seeing all of the names there lined up like that, a small expression of almost a hundred years of Te Punga participation in voting, made me realise again the significance of this act.
I realised that voting is in my blood. This is who we are - it's not all we are, we have other allegiances and affiliations too - but this is a part of who we are: we play our part, we pay attention, we do our bit, we vote for those who can't.
I know I said I'd try to hold off on becoming a party political broadcast, but I have to say that whoever you vote for just make sure it's not National or Act. Don't be sucked into the lines about 'stability' which scare people into voting for the unknown or for change... unless you are happy with a status quo in which more of NZ's children are living below the poverty limit and less of NZ's rich pay tax; a status quo in which Maori and Pasifika people are framed as dole-bludging criminals rather than a community which makes a higher contribution to NZ's economy than we receive from it; a status quo in which financial firms owned by white boys who have been friends since they went to their flash private schools are 'bailed out' for many times the amount that is spent on settlements with Maori over historical breaches of the Treaty; a status quo in which a Prime Minister is happy to lie to our faces regularly in any language as long as it's English. Feel free to make your choice on election day, but when you vote for tax cuts and decreased government spending remember that this means less money for health and education.
(In case you're not in NZ and familiar with the 'ghost chips' ad, check out the ad this one is referencing here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIYvD9DI1ZA)
I was looking through some online records today, trying to find some documents so I could pin down some specific dates around Hamuera's time in the USA. I was on a genealogy website, looking through a bunch of records they had uploaded... 'Te Punga' showed up several times across the vairous records: phonebook entries and arrival records of ships for my two great-uncles Uncle Martin and Uncle Fatty who had doctorates and spent time researching/ studying in the UK; ships' passenger lists for Hamuera as he travelled to Springfield (he spent a day or two in Honolulu on the way!); enlistment and military honours records for Grandad and Uncle Paul during WWII; and, by far the greatest number of hits, electoral records for voting in NZ general elections.
In one page, arranged in time order, a whole lineup of Te Pungas came of voting age in a gentle and neat pile. Starting with Hamuera and Lydia, who were both enrolled to vote in the 1919 election (Lydia had arrived in New Zealand for the first time only 6 years earlier; I am yet to find her naturalisation records, or even whether she needed to legally naturalise in order to vote). For the election, they voted from Lower Hutt because they lived in the original family house on White's Line in Waiwhetu (yes, years before the present marae was built there). For the later elections, they appear (on separate rolls, of course: Hamuera on the Maori roll and Lydia on the General) as residents of Halcombe and ultimately, for Hamuera, Auckland. After a few elections, Martha D Te Punga joins the voting members of the family, and just a couple of years later, Hamuera Paora. Finally all of the siblings appear on electoral rolls, and finally the grandchildren start to arrive: Anne Te Punga in Gisborne, and then all the cousins who followed. Because quite a few of Mum's first cousins are women who have since taken on married names, I realised this was the first time I'd seen some of them as 'Te Punga' in an official as opposed to social capacity... I mean, they're all Te Pungas all the time, but on these electoral rolls they appear as such. In black and white.
It made me think about what it means to vote. This is a coming of age activity, in which members of our whanau take advantage of the right they have to participate in our democratic system. For some reason, seeing all of the names there lined up like that, a small expression of almost a hundred years of Te Punga participation in voting, made me realise again the significance of this act.
I realised that voting is in my blood. This is who we are - it's not all we are, we have other allegiances and affiliations too - but this is a part of who we are: we play our part, we pay attention, we do our bit, we vote for those who can't.
I know I said I'd try to hold off on becoming a party political broadcast, but I have to say that whoever you vote for just make sure it's not National or Act. Don't be sucked into the lines about 'stability' which scare people into voting for the unknown or for change... unless you are happy with a status quo in which more of NZ's children are living below the poverty limit and less of NZ's rich pay tax; a status quo in which Maori and Pasifika people are framed as dole-bludging criminals rather than a community which makes a higher contribution to NZ's economy than we receive from it; a status quo in which financial firms owned by white boys who have been friends since they went to their flash private schools are 'bailed out' for many times the amount that is spent on settlements with Maori over historical breaches of the Treaty; a status quo in which a Prime Minister is happy to lie to our faces regularly in any language as long as it's English. Feel free to make your choice on election day, but when you vote for tax cuts and decreased government spending remember that this means less money for health and education.
(In case you're not in NZ and familiar with the 'ghost chips' ad, check out the ad this one is referencing here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIYvD9DI1ZA)
Monday, 14 November 2011
what history feels like
I just sent an email and a couple of photos to a young girl in New Zealand whose primary school teacher is a friend of mine, Rachael, from way back in the day. This young girl wrote to me seeking additional information about Grandad - yep, Roi Te Punga, who has gotten quite a bit of airplay on this blog :)
They are working on school assignments where they had to pick someone (I think it was someone Maori or someone from Maori history or something) and do some research about them, and this girl picked Grandad!
I suppose this is how it goes - I'm readying myself to go and find more about Hamuera (tonite I booked accomodation and arranged a couple of meetings) this week, while in NZ a school girl who I don't know and to whom I'm not related is working on a project about his son.
Histories get written like this - people and events are ascribed value by being remembered, and this value is enhanced or confirmed each time they are remembered thereafter. It's always selective (I told her some stories and some things about the family tree, but - as always - chose to share some and not others) and it depends so much on circumstance. Rachael knew Nana and Grandad: perhaps she told her student about him and in this way his story is being heard in a classroom in Canterbury in late 2011.
I suspect Grandad would be quietly mortified to know he is an historical figure, and his humility meant he resisted acknolwedgement during his life (only agreeing to accept his MBE and an entry in 'Who's Who in NZ' for the sake of others rather than for his own satisfaction)... but this is what happens: layers of story, layers of time, layers of telling... and before long things are remembered beyond their original tidelines.
Mum told me recently that the council with responsibility for the graveyard where the Te Pungas are all buried keeps an eye on the newer graves when there is a lot of bad weather, and keeps small piles of dirt nearby in case the run of the rain across the newly pressed soil makes it compress or slip in ways which will prevent a smooth healing of the land.
I am still in an in-between place with my grieving for Grandad... still waiting with small clumps of dirt to fill the dips left by memories which ruffle the skin of my heart. Writing tonite to a small stranger who knows nothing about the grandfather I still miss, but who has been diligently working on a project about a man who had a public life as well, has been an opportunity to get mud on my hands again and gently fill more faultlines which have been appearing during this period of Remembrance Day and preparation for my first Christmas without him. It has also been an opportunity to straighten my back and stand up to look around a bit: noting the others buried on the same slope, the cars speeding by on the road, the hills quietly rippling all the way to the horizon.
And so I wipe my hands together and rub the dirt off them, scrape the mud from my fingernails, wash my hands with water - I'm leaving an urupa after all - and go.
They are working on school assignments where they had to pick someone (I think it was someone Maori or someone from Maori history or something) and do some research about them, and this girl picked Grandad!
I suppose this is how it goes - I'm readying myself to go and find more about Hamuera (tonite I booked accomodation and arranged a couple of meetings) this week, while in NZ a school girl who I don't know and to whom I'm not related is working on a project about his son.
Histories get written like this - people and events are ascribed value by being remembered, and this value is enhanced or confirmed each time they are remembered thereafter. It's always selective (I told her some stories and some things about the family tree, but - as always - chose to share some and not others) and it depends so much on circumstance. Rachael knew Nana and Grandad: perhaps she told her student about him and in this way his story is being heard in a classroom in Canterbury in late 2011.
I suspect Grandad would be quietly mortified to know he is an historical figure, and his humility meant he resisted acknolwedgement during his life (only agreeing to accept his MBE and an entry in 'Who's Who in NZ' for the sake of others rather than for his own satisfaction)... but this is what happens: layers of story, layers of time, layers of telling... and before long things are remembered beyond their original tidelines.
Mum told me recently that the council with responsibility for the graveyard where the Te Pungas are all buried keeps an eye on the newer graves when there is a lot of bad weather, and keeps small piles of dirt nearby in case the run of the rain across the newly pressed soil makes it compress or slip in ways which will prevent a smooth healing of the land.
I am still in an in-between place with my grieving for Grandad... still waiting with small clumps of dirt to fill the dips left by memories which ruffle the skin of my heart. Writing tonite to a small stranger who knows nothing about the grandfather I still miss, but who has been diligently working on a project about a man who had a public life as well, has been an opportunity to get mud on my hands again and gently fill more faultlines which have been appearing during this period of Remembrance Day and preparation for my first Christmas without him. It has also been an opportunity to straighten my back and stand up to look around a bit: noting the others buried on the same slope, the cars speeding by on the road, the hills quietly rippling all the way to the horizon.
And so I wipe my hands together and rub the dirt off them, scrape the mud from my fingernails, wash my hands with water - I'm leaving an urupa after all - and go.
Sunday, 13 November 2011
footsteps
I'm getting ready to follow in Hamuera's footsteps... on Wednesday nite I fly to Chicago, pick up a rental car, and drive to Springfield. Today I spent a couple of hours putting together a word document of the things I've alreayd collected and found out, and I've been sorting through the materials I connected with in Adelaide and Wellington. I've got good memories of cold days in Wellington and Adelaide during the first month of sabbatical... and memories of spending time working and talking with Katrina and Megan in Wellington, and Glenice in Adelaide.
I've found that I know a fair bit about some aspects of Hamuera's life but some bits are still wide open spaces, years of his life stretching between small bits of information which protrude from the ground, with the weight of expectations and memory draped over the pliant rope like a clothesline that may or not be able to carry it own load.
I'm looking forward to being in these family places: Springfield and St Louis. Cities which have been in my imagination my whole life and which I will now get to see and walk around and experience.
I remember the first time I traced our Maori roots in the American Mid-West, when I was in Chicago on holiday while I was studying for my PhD. Once afternoon Nadine and I left the others we were travelling with and hopped into the car, heading for the South Chicago address written in even cursive on the back of a postcard from my great-grandmother Lydia. We found the site, which had recently been bulldozed and turned into a parking lot.
I am thinking about the conversations I've had with cousin Terese, about the acquisition of family knowledges and how getting a list of names without any context for their meaning isn't the same as whakapapa. If you work hard for the names and the bits of information, if you have memories tied to each part of the journey, if it takes time, then that's a different story.
Tracing family lines is an inexact science, and some days it's a bit like pulling pantyhose out of the washing machine. Once you see a piece of the toe or leg or waistband the temptation is to pull like mad and hope the stockings will emerge from the mess of other clothes... but it's likely they're tangled up in bigger and bulkier items and will be best extricated bit by bit while the other bits of washing are removed. Keeping an eye on the pantyhose is important - if you don't know where they are you're likely to tug too fast on something that feels stuck - but so is the smoothness with which you gently pull things apart.
This week I'll be following the story of this guy, Hamuera Hautu Irirangi Te Punga:
A different story indeed.
I've found that I know a fair bit about some aspects of Hamuera's life but some bits are still wide open spaces, years of his life stretching between small bits of information which protrude from the ground, with the weight of expectations and memory draped over the pliant rope like a clothesline that may or not be able to carry it own load.
I'm looking forward to being in these family places: Springfield and St Louis. Cities which have been in my imagination my whole life and which I will now get to see and walk around and experience.
I remember the first time I traced our Maori roots in the American Mid-West, when I was in Chicago on holiday while I was studying for my PhD. Once afternoon Nadine and I left the others we were travelling with and hopped into the car, heading for the South Chicago address written in even cursive on the back of a postcard from my great-grandmother Lydia. We found the site, which had recently been bulldozed and turned into a parking lot.
I am thinking about the conversations I've had with cousin Terese, about the acquisition of family knowledges and how getting a list of names without any context for their meaning isn't the same as whakapapa. If you work hard for the names and the bits of information, if you have memories tied to each part of the journey, if it takes time, then that's a different story.
Tracing family lines is an inexact science, and some days it's a bit like pulling pantyhose out of the washing machine. Once you see a piece of the toe or leg or waistband the temptation is to pull like mad and hope the stockings will emerge from the mess of other clothes... but it's likely they're tangled up in bigger and bulkier items and will be best extricated bit by bit while the other bits of washing are removed. Keeping an eye on the pantyhose is important - if you don't know where they are you're likely to tug too fast on something that feels stuck - but so is the smoothness with which you gently pull things apart.
This week I'll be following the story of this guy, Hamuera Hautu Irirangi Te Punga:
A different story indeed.
Saturday, 12 November 2011
poppies
The CN tower is red tonite and the lighted signs on the public buses read 'Lest We Forget.' People are wearing poppies. Facebook is full of posts about relatives and memory.
It's Remembrance Day here in Canada (and Veteran's Day in the US) and they really go all out here to mark the moment. Recalling 'returned servicemen and servicewomen,' as we might say at home, on 11 November makes sense because it marks the last day of WWI although in NZ and Australia we have our day of remembrance on ANZAC Day instead. It's still a WWI-related date (25 April, the beginning of things at Gallipoli) but not the end of things and much as the beginning of things, or so the mythology goes: NZ and Australia were apparently born as nations on the cliffs of Gallipoli, as men from both places fought an impossible fight.
For some reason it feels striking that this is the only special day which isn't in the opposite season here than it falls at home: the weather in late April and early November are comparable, whereas other shared days take place simultaneously with snow or rain in one place and sunshine in the other. This day to remember our dead - our specific dead, our dead from specific moments and specific histories - falls at the beginning of winter in Canada and at home.
Like many people, I can't help but have mixed feelings about the memorialisation of certain wars, and I remember sitting in the carpark of the Army Museum in Waiouru with Megan and a sleeping Matiu in the backseat. We talked at length about what histories we wanted to tell him about and what dimensions of masculinity we wanted to valorise. We found ourselves thinking about the glamorisation of war and the problem of over-simple stories about conflicts and the various possible paths to their resolution. We talked about how we knew he would be exposed to all of this anyway, and the risks of limiting a child's understanding of the world by creating too contrived a bubble of reality around them. As I recall, we drove away, Matiu still sleeping, and decided to leave it as an experience he would have with others... sure enough, he has visited the Museum more than once with his beloved Koko (our Dad) while roadtripping to visit the Somervilles in Tauranga.
It's possible to talk yourself into a corner, though, and miss the opportunity to engage with something on your own terms.
Whatever I may think about war and militarism and selective memories and violence, today was like an early ANZAC day for me, and although both of my grandfathers fought in WWII of course this year I've spent a lot of time thinking about Grandad because his passing is still so recent. War shaped him deeply through its impact on his own life as a member of the 28th Maori Battalion, its impact on his family (especially the loss of his brother Hamuera Paul but also the chance to meet the nurse he later married, Nana), its impact on his generation, and its impact on his world.
I still find it unbelievable he has gone, even though I have strong memories of saying goodbye. One of the memories I will never lose - and that I remembered today and will rememebr again next April - is standing in the graveyard, in a classic Halcombe 'breeze' and light rain, surrounded by whanau, singing for the first time the hymn he sang so many times so far away for other men.
Au, e Ihu, tirohia
Arohaina iho rā
Whakaaetia ake au
Ki Tou uma piri ai
I te wā e ake ai
Enei ngaru kino nei
I te wā e keri ai
Enei awha kaha mai
Tiakina mai ahau
I te wā e rurea nei
Aratakakina e koe
Roto te marino nui
Aua au e waiho noa
Awhitia mai rā e Koe
Hīpokina iho au
Raro i ou parirau
Rānea tonu ana mai
Tau aroha atawhai
Kaha ana mai ko Koe
Ki te muru i ngā hē
Puna o te oranga
Whakahekea tenei wai
Kia pupū i roto nei
Tae noa ki te mutunga
Amine
It's Remembrance Day here in Canada (and Veteran's Day in the US) and they really go all out here to mark the moment. Recalling 'returned servicemen and servicewomen,' as we might say at home, on 11 November makes sense because it marks the last day of WWI although in NZ and Australia we have our day of remembrance on ANZAC Day instead. It's still a WWI-related date (25 April, the beginning of things at Gallipoli) but not the end of things and much as the beginning of things, or so the mythology goes: NZ and Australia were apparently born as nations on the cliffs of Gallipoli, as men from both places fought an impossible fight.
For some reason it feels striking that this is the only special day which isn't in the opposite season here than it falls at home: the weather in late April and early November are comparable, whereas other shared days take place simultaneously with snow or rain in one place and sunshine in the other. This day to remember our dead - our specific dead, our dead from specific moments and specific histories - falls at the beginning of winter in Canada and at home.
Like many people, I can't help but have mixed feelings about the memorialisation of certain wars, and I remember sitting in the carpark of the Army Museum in Waiouru with Megan and a sleeping Matiu in the backseat. We talked at length about what histories we wanted to tell him about and what dimensions of masculinity we wanted to valorise. We found ourselves thinking about the glamorisation of war and the problem of over-simple stories about conflicts and the various possible paths to their resolution. We talked about how we knew he would be exposed to all of this anyway, and the risks of limiting a child's understanding of the world by creating too contrived a bubble of reality around them. As I recall, we drove away, Matiu still sleeping, and decided to leave it as an experience he would have with others... sure enough, he has visited the Museum more than once with his beloved Koko (our Dad) while roadtripping to visit the Somervilles in Tauranga.
It's possible to talk yourself into a corner, though, and miss the opportunity to engage with something on your own terms.
Whatever I may think about war and militarism and selective memories and violence, today was like an early ANZAC day for me, and although both of my grandfathers fought in WWII of course this year I've spent a lot of time thinking about Grandad because his passing is still so recent. War shaped him deeply through its impact on his own life as a member of the 28th Maori Battalion, its impact on his family (especially the loss of his brother Hamuera Paul but also the chance to meet the nurse he later married, Nana), its impact on his generation, and its impact on his world.
I still find it unbelievable he has gone, even though I have strong memories of saying goodbye. One of the memories I will never lose - and that I remembered today and will rememebr again next April - is standing in the graveyard, in a classic Halcombe 'breeze' and light rain, surrounded by whanau, singing for the first time the hymn he sang so many times so far away for other men.
Au, e Ihu, tirohia
Arohaina iho rā
Whakaaetia ake au
Ki Tou uma piri ai
I te wā e ake ai
Enei ngaru kino nei
I te wā e keri ai
Enei awha kaha mai
Tiakina mai ahau
I te wā e rurea nei
Aratakakina e koe
Roto te marino nui
Aua au e waiho noa
Awhitia mai rā e Koe
Hīpokina iho au
Raro i ou parirau
Rānea tonu ana mai
Tau aroha atawhai
Kaha ana mai ko Koe
Ki te muru i ngā hē
Puna o te oranga
Whakahekea tenei wai
Kia pupū i roto nei
Tae noa ki te mutunga
Amine
Friday, 11 November 2011
saying what you mean, meaning what you say
Sometimes it feels a bit like we could all stand to go back to basics with communication.
I've been working on my book edits today and have been astounded by the number of typos and misspellings I've made and - and this is the amazing bit - not been able to see. Luckily the copyeditor has fixed a whole lot of them - and yet I've found a few more. As well as the typos etc, I've been cleaning up the expression in some sentences which wind around and around and would be much more clear if they went straight through and made a point. Sure, decorative and creative and flair are lovely but not when they are at the expense of meaning.
Communication: a lost art, it seems. I've found myself in a few conversations today where the central discussion ends up being about communication, miscommunication, noncommunication and the like...
We all do it all the time but often so inexpertly or so distractedly or so speedily that we end up being less efficient than if we'd slowed down, taked a deep breath, and phrased things carefully. Or perhaps it's unfair to say 'we' but certainly this is true of me...
It's good to be reminded that a paragraph I've checked and cleaned up and wriggled around and reworked and sharpened up many man times can still stand a bit more work... it makes me think carefully about flippant txts and emails that I send, and that are sent to me. So much can be lost - or, as my good mate Nadine says, email isn't good for conveying tone - and once it's lost the gains end up being negligible.
So, tomorrow I am going to sit down for an hour and reply some emails that are overdue, and I am going to try to give them enough time to actually communicate what I mean with clarity, detail and - where appropriate - a dash of flair, gentleness or wit:)
I've been working on my book edits today and have been astounded by the number of typos and misspellings I've made and - and this is the amazing bit - not been able to see. Luckily the copyeditor has fixed a whole lot of them - and yet I've found a few more. As well as the typos etc, I've been cleaning up the expression in some sentences which wind around and around and would be much more clear if they went straight through and made a point. Sure, decorative and creative and flair are lovely but not when they are at the expense of meaning.
Communication: a lost art, it seems. I've found myself in a few conversations today where the central discussion ends up being about communication, miscommunication, noncommunication and the like...
We all do it all the time but often so inexpertly or so distractedly or so speedily that we end up being less efficient than if we'd slowed down, taked a deep breath, and phrased things carefully. Or perhaps it's unfair to say 'we' but certainly this is true of me...
It's good to be reminded that a paragraph I've checked and cleaned up and wriggled around and reworked and sharpened up many man times can still stand a bit more work... it makes me think carefully about flippant txts and emails that I send, and that are sent to me. So much can be lost - or, as my good mate Nadine says, email isn't good for conveying tone - and once it's lost the gains end up being negligible.
So, tomorrow I am going to sit down for an hour and reply some emails that are overdue, and I am going to try to give them enough time to actually communicate what I mean with clarity, detail and - where appropriate - a dash of flair, gentleness or wit:)
Thursday, 10 November 2011
warm on sabbatical
Yesterday I was skyping with Megan about things, and mentioned that there's no point bringing fleecy pyjamas to this part of the world... winters are very cold outside, but inside the houses are very warm.
I'm lying on the couch writing this, wearing a tshirt, a hoodie with the sleeves cut off, and a lavalava. And I'm way too hot! The central heating is on because it's cold outside tonite, and soon I'll be stripping down to tshirt and lavalava for bed.
In some ways, this is like sabbatical. So warm - so comfortable - that I don't know how to dress for it. I've been on sabbatical for four months and ten days now... i'm a third of the way through... and I've been here in Canada for almost three months. And still, I find myself learning how to handle having things so comfortable! I am committing to too much, I get nervous when I have a full day stretching in front of me, I worry about all the things I could be doing with this time that I'm just not getting done.
But that's okay. I'll adjust. I'm used to dressing for the freezing cold, and I need to go easy on myself when my instinct is still to put on a warm jumper and socks and slippers to keep myself going... it turns out that old habits die slower than you ever imagine... but I'll adjust, and relax, and write my book by the end.
:)
Good night.
I'm lying on the couch writing this, wearing a tshirt, a hoodie with the sleeves cut off, and a lavalava. And I'm way too hot! The central heating is on because it's cold outside tonite, and soon I'll be stripping down to tshirt and lavalava for bed.
In some ways, this is like sabbatical. So warm - so comfortable - that I don't know how to dress for it. I've been on sabbatical for four months and ten days now... i'm a third of the way through... and I've been here in Canada for almost three months. And still, I find myself learning how to handle having things so comfortable! I am committing to too much, I get nervous when I have a full day stretching in front of me, I worry about all the things I could be doing with this time that I'm just not getting done.
But that's okay. I'll adjust. I'm used to dressing for the freezing cold, and I need to go easy on myself when my instinct is still to put on a warm jumper and socks and slippers to keep myself going... it turns out that old habits die slower than you ever imagine... but I'll adjust, and relax, and write my book by the end.
:)
Good night.
Wednesday, 9 November 2011
election time
As an overseas voter, I can now (as of today) download my voting papers and send them in... the NZ general elections are on, and I'm getting ready to cast my vote.
While I'm not going to turn this blog into a party political broadcast, because I know that some of you will make different decisions from me and that some of you aren't voters in the NZ elections anyway, I do want to be clear about the significance of voting.
People have fought and been arrested and struggled and cried and been marginalised and died so that I can vote in this election, so I'm not going to miss the opportunity now that I have it.
I have to be honest that it's not an instinctive vote for me this year... my party vote is easy, but my electorate vote (Te Tai Tonga - I'm on the Maori roll) is less so. The referendum about the political system? I want to think a bit more about it, but I'm pretty sure I know what I'm going to do.
The thing that will make me decide? A combination... but I've been influenced by hearing my Dad talk about his strategy: decide on the issues that matter the most to me and then see what each candidate is saying about them. I've found that this helps keep my focus on things and I've felt comfortable that I'm making a choice that is responsible and hopeful.
And that's the whole thing abotu elections, aye? They're about hope. About futures. About the possibilities of how things could be.
Last time NZ had a general election, it was a few days after Obama's amazing win in Washington. The contrast between the two elections couldn't have been stronger, not only in terms of the fireworks and excitement (oh if only Beyonce sang at our inaugurations! if only there was a poet who'd written a poem about the moment!) but also - more importantly, of course - in terms of hope.
Whether or not Obama's administration has achieved what we all envisioned in those heady days, the election gave many of us outside the US an opportunity to think about the possible ways that the face of politics might change in our own countries too.
A couple of months ago in the US I met a smug white man who took great pains to explain to me that the Black community was disappointed with Obama, and I wanted to slap him. Who was this self-appointed white guy, speaking on behalf of another community, to tell me about someone else's opinion? Did he have no sense of just how bizarre - and yet so predictable - the moment really was? Did he really think that all Black people in the US think exactly the same way? What an idiot!
What an idiot.
We've got a few idiots at home too. The ones who speak about, or on behalf of, all Maori people as if we al lthink exactly the same way about every single issue. The ones who smugly tell others about Maori hopes and, especially, disappointments in Maori leaders.
The ones who are happy to talk for hours on end about what's wrong with Maori people, as they continue with unethical policies which undermine, target and disproportionately afeect Maori. The ones who are committed to looking after their own people and making sure the gap between rich and poor continues to grow. The ones who have been shown all the hospitality in the world at marae up and down the country and yet still can't be bothered even attempting to pronounce our language.
The ones who don't even both to speak our language at the opening of a sports ceremony, a moment which isn't really about a few words in a specific lanaguage but is about the revelation of a thought pattern in which we are constantly put to one side, ignored, invisible.
I bring this anger and bitterness into my thinking about politics, but this only tells me who not to vote for. As I decide who to vote for, I'm going to be thinking about the idea of hope. All of the people who made sacrifices so I could vote in the elections did so because they were thinking about a future in which people like me (a woman, Maori, not a landowner) would be able to vote. So, I'm going to follow their lead and think about the future too. The audacity!
While I'm not going to turn this blog into a party political broadcast, because I know that some of you will make different decisions from me and that some of you aren't voters in the NZ elections anyway, I do want to be clear about the significance of voting.
People have fought and been arrested and struggled and cried and been marginalised and died so that I can vote in this election, so I'm not going to miss the opportunity now that I have it.
I have to be honest that it's not an instinctive vote for me this year... my party vote is easy, but my electorate vote (Te Tai Tonga - I'm on the Maori roll) is less so. The referendum about the political system? I want to think a bit more about it, but I'm pretty sure I know what I'm going to do.
The thing that will make me decide? A combination... but I've been influenced by hearing my Dad talk about his strategy: decide on the issues that matter the most to me and then see what each candidate is saying about them. I've found that this helps keep my focus on things and I've felt comfortable that I'm making a choice that is responsible and hopeful.
And that's the whole thing abotu elections, aye? They're about hope. About futures. About the possibilities of how things could be.
Last time NZ had a general election, it was a few days after Obama's amazing win in Washington. The contrast between the two elections couldn't have been stronger, not only in terms of the fireworks and excitement (oh if only Beyonce sang at our inaugurations! if only there was a poet who'd written a poem about the moment!) but also - more importantly, of course - in terms of hope.
Whether or not Obama's administration has achieved what we all envisioned in those heady days, the election gave many of us outside the US an opportunity to think about the possible ways that the face of politics might change in our own countries too.
A couple of months ago in the US I met a smug white man who took great pains to explain to me that the Black community was disappointed with Obama, and I wanted to slap him. Who was this self-appointed white guy, speaking on behalf of another community, to tell me about someone else's opinion? Did he have no sense of just how bizarre - and yet so predictable - the moment really was? Did he really think that all Black people in the US think exactly the same way? What an idiot!
What an idiot.
We've got a few idiots at home too. The ones who speak about, or on behalf of, all Maori people as if we al lthink exactly the same way about every single issue. The ones who smugly tell others about Maori hopes and, especially, disappointments in Maori leaders.
The ones who are happy to talk for hours on end about what's wrong with Maori people, as they continue with unethical policies which undermine, target and disproportionately afeect Maori. The ones who are committed to looking after their own people and making sure the gap between rich and poor continues to grow. The ones who have been shown all the hospitality in the world at marae up and down the country and yet still can't be bothered even attempting to pronounce our language.
The ones who don't even both to speak our language at the opening of a sports ceremony, a moment which isn't really about a few words in a specific lanaguage but is about the revelation of a thought pattern in which we are constantly put to one side, ignored, invisible.
I bring this anger and bitterness into my thinking about politics, but this only tells me who not to vote for. As I decide who to vote for, I'm going to be thinking about the idea of hope. All of the people who made sacrifices so I could vote in the elections did so because they were thinking about a future in which people like me (a woman, Maori, not a landowner) would be able to vote. So, I'm going to follow their lead and think about the future too. The audacity!
Tuesday, 8 November 2011
11.26pm and i'm off to bed!
... this is actually shocking news, because I rarely hit the hay before 1am at the moment... actually this has been so since I got here to Canada!
But tonite I'm a tired girl, after a short sleep and early busride and full day in Guelph... it was a lovely day, though, and I especially loved spending much of the afternoon with Michelle and Jade, two fabulous wahine from Cornell days...
So, instead of full complete thoughts I thought I'd just make a few points about today in clusters of 3:
things i'm happy about
my time in toronto
txting with a new friend
having time to write
things i enjoyed today
teaching to michelle's 1st year students (i miss 1st years!)
meeting two aboriginal students who'd been to wellington
hanging out and chatting heaps with michelle and jade
things i'm proud of
i did my dishes before i went to bed! (yay - breaking the cycle - hehe)
i could understand a friend's fb post in french (i got the gist of it anyway)
i heard a student i've been supervising received an A grade
things i'm hoping for
the perfect black puffer jacket, that fits and is on sale!
a bit more sunshine before things turn bleak
forgiveness for lateness on a couple of things (oops!)
things i'm looking fwd to
futher txts from above-mentioned new friend
taking anne & michelle's girl ngaire to the movies to watch puss n boots this weekend :)
sending off my corrected book manuscript
things i'll do tomorrow
reply some emails
correct book manuscript
go for a walk with my ipod nano listening to a podcast
places i wish i could be
makaro island in wellington harbour, with megan and cousins yesterday
hanging out with my nephew matiu (any place would be fine!)
in the future, just for a short trip, to see how the next couple of years turn out for me!
people i'm thinking of while canada prepares for remembrance day (like our ANZAC day)
grandad
uncle paul
grandpa
... and all the rest - moe mai x
But tonite I'm a tired girl, after a short sleep and early busride and full day in Guelph... it was a lovely day, though, and I especially loved spending much of the afternoon with Michelle and Jade, two fabulous wahine from Cornell days...
So, instead of full complete thoughts I thought I'd just make a few points about today in clusters of 3:
things i'm happy about
my time in toronto
txting with a new friend
having time to write
things i enjoyed today
teaching to michelle's 1st year students (i miss 1st years!)
meeting two aboriginal students who'd been to wellington
hanging out and chatting heaps with michelle and jade
things i'm proud of
i did my dishes before i went to bed! (yay - breaking the cycle - hehe)
i could understand a friend's fb post in french (i got the gist of it anyway)
i heard a student i've been supervising received an A grade
things i'm hoping for
the perfect black puffer jacket, that fits and is on sale!
a bit more sunshine before things turn bleak
forgiveness for lateness on a couple of things (oops!)
things i'm looking fwd to
futher txts from above-mentioned new friend
taking anne & michelle's girl ngaire to the movies to watch puss n boots this weekend :)
sending off my corrected book manuscript
things i'll do tomorrow
reply some emails
correct book manuscript
go for a walk with my ipod nano listening to a podcast
places i wish i could be
makaro island in wellington harbour, with megan and cousins yesterday
hanging out with my nephew matiu (any place would be fine!)
in the future, just for a short trip, to see how the next couple of years turn out for me!
people i'm thinking of while canada prepares for remembrance day (like our ANZAC day)
grandad
uncle paul
grandpa
... and all the rest - moe mai x
Monday, 7 November 2011
Indigenous publishers on my mind...
Tomorrow I'm going to give a guest lecture at the University of Guelph, a big uni about an hour away from Toronto, to their first year English students... I'm talking about Indigenous literature but will focus on Kateri Akiwenzie-Damm, a fabulously fabulous Anishinaabeg poet, publisher and genius :)
One of the things Kateri did a few years ago (back in 1993 actually) was that she set up Kegedonce Press, a publishing company which would be under the control of, and explicitly focussed on, Aboriginal and global Indigenous writers & communities...
As I've prepared my lecture for tomorrow it has been so good to read things she has said about publishing and the significance of Indigenous publishing. As a poet (and new Maori poets struggle to get published at the moment) and as a reader of work that finds it difficult to get to publication, I know all about the intellectual but also the cultural significance of the work these companies do.
Last year when the NZ Book Awards didn't make a prize to the best book in the Maori language because there wasn't one that was eligible, a lot of people turned to Huia Publishers and complained that they clearly weren't doing a good enough job... like, excuse me? These Indigenous publishers work around the clock to get Indigenous books out there, despite often not having access to the boys club distribution networks, despite distributors and bookstores often not understanding their books, and despite ... and people turn to them when there's not a Maori language book? Um, people. Try directing some of the frustration at the rest of the publishers in NZ, who continue to keep the range of available Maori texts (in either language) predictable and narrow.
Congratulations to Tina Makereti whose remarkable first collection Once Upon a Time in Aotearoa was just announced as the fiction winner of the 2011 Kupu Ora Maori Book Awards... but congratulations also to Huia who published this book in the first place. Congratulations to Daren Kamali whose amazing Tales, Poems and Songs from the Underworld (in Fijian as well English) is being lapped up all around the Pacific... but congratulations also to Anahera Press who published this book in the first place.
Sure, I have days when I'm critical of NZ publishing practice, including Maori publishing practice, and I don't think the way to love something is to refuse to regognise its imperfections and uneven strengths. But at the end of the day, the world is a richer a better place for the existence of these books - and the hundreds of other Indigenous books like them - which wouldn't otherwise have seen the light of day.
So tonite I'm thinking of Huia, Jukurrpa, Anahera, Ala Press, Kegedonce, Theytus and all the rest. Thank you for making our world a better, more interesting, and more Indigenous place.
One of the things Kateri did a few years ago (back in 1993 actually) was that she set up Kegedonce Press, a publishing company which would be under the control of, and explicitly focussed on, Aboriginal and global Indigenous writers & communities...
As I've prepared my lecture for tomorrow it has been so good to read things she has said about publishing and the significance of Indigenous publishing. As a poet (and new Maori poets struggle to get published at the moment) and as a reader of work that finds it difficult to get to publication, I know all about the intellectual but also the cultural significance of the work these companies do.
Last year when the NZ Book Awards didn't make a prize to the best book in the Maori language because there wasn't one that was eligible, a lot of people turned to Huia Publishers and complained that they clearly weren't doing a good enough job... like, excuse me? These Indigenous publishers work around the clock to get Indigenous books out there, despite often not having access to the boys club distribution networks, despite distributors and bookstores often not understanding their books, and despite ... and people turn to them when there's not a Maori language book? Um, people. Try directing some of the frustration at the rest of the publishers in NZ, who continue to keep the range of available Maori texts (in either language) predictable and narrow.
Congratulations to Tina Makereti whose remarkable first collection Once Upon a Time in Aotearoa was just announced as the fiction winner of the 2011 Kupu Ora Maori Book Awards... but congratulations also to Huia who published this book in the first place. Congratulations to Daren Kamali whose amazing Tales, Poems and Songs from the Underworld (in Fijian as well English) is being lapped up all around the Pacific... but congratulations also to Anahera Press who published this book in the first place.
Sure, I have days when I'm critical of NZ publishing practice, including Maori publishing practice, and I don't think the way to love something is to refuse to regognise its imperfections and uneven strengths. But at the end of the day, the world is a richer a better place for the existence of these books - and the hundreds of other Indigenous books like them - which wouldn't otherwise have seen the light of day.
So tonite I'm thinking of Huia, Jukurrpa, Anahera, Ala Press, Kegedonce, Theytus and all the rest. Thank you for making our world a better, more interesting, and more Indigenous place.
Sunday, 6 November 2011
5 November... remembering Parihaka
He Waiata tenei mo Parihaka
(by Taranaki poet JC Sturm)
Have you heard of Parihaka
Between
Maunga Taranaki
And the sea
Where Te Whiti o Rongomai
And Tohu Kakahi
Preached
Passive resistance, not war?
Have you heard of Parihaka
Where Taranaki iwi
Gathered
Seeking a way to keep their land?
Non-violence was their choice
Peace their aim
Raukura their badge
Ploughs their only weapons.
They pulled down fences
Pulled out pegs
Then ploughed whatever
The settlers claimed was theirs.
Have you heard of Parihaka’s
Boys and girls
Waiting outside the gates
When the mounted soldiers came
To rape and murder
Pillage and burn
To take Te Whiti and Tohu away
With all the ploughmen
And ship them south
To build a causeway
Around Dunedin’s
Wintry harbour?
Have you heard of Taranaki iwi
Denied a trial,
Chained like dogs
In sealed caves and tunnels?
Ngāi Tahu smuggled
Food and blankets
To the prisoners
Comforted the sick in the dark.
Kua ngaro ngā tangata
Kua ngaro i te pō!
Auē te mamae
That followed after!
If you haven’t heard of Parihaka,
Be sure
Your grandchildren will
And their children after them,
History will see to that.
But for now,
He waiata tēnei mō Parihaka –
Auē, auē, a-u-ē –
Saturday, 5 November 2011
acknowledgements
Today I started the process of doublechecking the manuscript of my book, Once Were Pacific: Maori connections with Oceania which will be published next year. A copyeditor has gone through to check for things and get it all lined up etc, and I need to go through a check for typos and misquotes etc too.
I started, as one might expect, at the beginning... which means I've checked the totle pages, contents, etc... and the acknowledgements. It was so nice to be reminded, as I read the acknowledgements to the books, of all the people who have supported me through the process up to this point... family, friends, colleagues, supervisors, mentors... (unlike my MA and PhD theses, I haven't acknowledged my other trusty study supporters like Diet Coke and baby carrots and hummus hehe)
I think only two people know who I've dedicated the book to: those people are Mum and my mate Ra (Ra is checking the reo Maori for me, else she wouldn't know either)... sorry folks you're going to have to wait until the book comes out to see who it's dedicated to! But, the important thing is the layering of support, of warmth, of interest, of aroha... what a lovely process, getting to remember how lucky I am. Thanks team :)
I started, as one might expect, at the beginning... which means I've checked the totle pages, contents, etc... and the acknowledgements. It was so nice to be reminded, as I read the acknowledgements to the books, of all the people who have supported me through the process up to this point... family, friends, colleagues, supervisors, mentors... (unlike my MA and PhD theses, I haven't acknowledged my other trusty study supporters like Diet Coke and baby carrots and hummus hehe)
I think only two people know who I've dedicated the book to: those people are Mum and my mate Ra (Ra is checking the reo Maori for me, else she wouldn't know either)... sorry folks you're going to have to wait until the book comes out to see who it's dedicated to! But, the important thing is the layering of support, of warmth, of interest, of aroha... what a lovely process, getting to remember how lucky I am. Thanks team :)
Friday, 4 November 2011
planning...
I've been finalising some plans for a trip that's coming up in a couple of weeks... I'm flying to Chicago, then driving to Springfield, Illinois where my great-grandfather Hamuera Te Punga trained to be a Lutheran pastor... then to St Louis, because the historical records and archihves of the Lutheran church are based there... and to Indiana, where the Springfield seminary was relocated and merged into another seminary there... and back to Chicago, hopefully with time to see the South Chicago site where he was ordained in 1912, and then home to Toronto. All in six days.
It's an exploratory trip, where I'll be checking things out and deciding if and where I need to return for longer sessions in the archives... but it's been fun getting things lined up for the adventure... the rental car has been confimed, the flights paid for, and people I'll meet along the way have been replying to my emails and fb msgs. All set!
I find myself getting excited again, the way I was excited before going to the Adelaide Lutheran archives... a chance to possibly find things, and a chance for new connections. Also a chance to see the literal places where Hamuera was living between 1906 and 1912. Land means a lot to us, and I want to see the land he looked out on when he woke up in the morning and when he moved around between seminary, church and farm work. This trip will help me in my research into Maori writing, but it will also help me learn more about Hamuera and, I suspect, all of us Te Pungas. I'm looking forward to it.
It's an exploratory trip, where I'll be checking things out and deciding if and where I need to return for longer sessions in the archives... but it's been fun getting things lined up for the adventure... the rental car has been confimed, the flights paid for, and people I'll meet along the way have been replying to my emails and fb msgs. All set!
I find myself getting excited again, the way I was excited before going to the Adelaide Lutheran archives... a chance to possibly find things, and a chance for new connections. Also a chance to see the literal places where Hamuera was living between 1906 and 1912. Land means a lot to us, and I want to see the land he looked out on when he woke up in the morning and when he moved around between seminary, church and farm work. This trip will help me in my research into Maori writing, but it will also help me learn more about Hamuera and, I suspect, all of us Te Pungas. I'm looking forward to it.
Thursday, 3 November 2011
the project is bigger than all of us...
Some days it's nice to be reminded that this is a collective enterprise. While this line of work involves a lot of time hanging out with a computer or book, research and writing (and obviously teaching) are necessarily communal activities.
It was meeting # 2 of the Toronto-and-friends Indigenous Literary Studies Reading Group tonite... six of us had read Scott Lyons's book X-Marks and we spent three hours talking about it... another great session including excited, critical, question-ish and probing discussion... and near the end we talked about what it means to engage carefully, thoroughly, critically, respectfully with a book.
Of course, when one has written one's own book, one cannot help but think about the potential reception of one's book. Hmmm.
Dan Coleman (who was also lovely enough to host us in his house this evening) shared a moment when he was about to be in a conference session where three people would be discussing his book, and he was nervous about the criticism that might be coming his way... and then he realised that it wasn't about him at all, but it was all about the project. He reasoned that if these questions we grapple with were capable of being solved and addressed completely in one book it would already have happened, because a lot of smart people have been working on this questions for a long time... instead, each book is a contribution to furthering 'the project' which is bigger than any one book but it also bigger than any of us. Any gaps are to be expected because no book could ever be the final word, and any gains are gains not for ourselves but for the project...
This reminded me of discussions with my wonderful student Emma who has been doing research on Cook Islands literature and we have talked about the lack of critical voices in the 'field' of Cook Islands literary studies... but, her research will be one part of a tivaevae which the next person will be able to come and sew their bit onto... and evenutally, collectively, something will be made which will remind us all of who we are and keep us warm.
*tivaevae = Cook Islands quilt
It was meeting # 2 of the Toronto-and-friends Indigenous Literary Studies Reading Group tonite... six of us had read Scott Lyons's book X-Marks and we spent three hours talking about it... another great session including excited, critical, question-ish and probing discussion... and near the end we talked about what it means to engage carefully, thoroughly, critically, respectfully with a book.
Of course, when one has written one's own book, one cannot help but think about the potential reception of one's book. Hmmm.
Dan Coleman (who was also lovely enough to host us in his house this evening) shared a moment when he was about to be in a conference session where three people would be discussing his book, and he was nervous about the criticism that might be coming his way... and then he realised that it wasn't about him at all, but it was all about the project. He reasoned that if these questions we grapple with were capable of being solved and addressed completely in one book it would already have happened, because a lot of smart people have been working on this questions for a long time... instead, each book is a contribution to furthering 'the project' which is bigger than any one book but it also bigger than any of us. Any gaps are to be expected because no book could ever be the final word, and any gains are gains not for ourselves but for the project...
This reminded me of discussions with my wonderful student Emma who has been doing research on Cook Islands literature and we have talked about the lack of critical voices in the 'field' of Cook Islands literary studies... but, her research will be one part of a tivaevae which the next person will be able to come and sew their bit onto... and evenutally, collectively, something will be made which will remind us all of who we are and keep us warm.
*tivaevae = Cook Islands quilt
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
reading...
I'm blissed out, so happy to be reading again...
So nice to have a few days at home in Toronto after the crazy and invigorating 'conference month' of October... so lucky to get to read a book from cover to cover...
Sitting in a cafe this evening, reading Scott Lyons's book X-Marks: Native Signatures of Assent, drinking a latte, underlining key phrases and putting little smiley faces in the margins... I realised how lovely it is to get to just read...
Te tau okioki... awesome
So nice to have a few days at home in Toronto after the crazy and invigorating 'conference month' of October... so lucky to get to read a book from cover to cover...
Sitting in a cafe this evening, reading Scott Lyons's book X-Marks: Native Signatures of Assent, drinking a latte, underlining key phrases and putting little smiley faces in the margins... I realised how lovely it is to get to just read...
Te tau okioki... awesome
Tuesday, 1 November 2011
Happy Halloween!
This evening I went Trick or Treating with ghosts, goblins, things that go bump in the nite, zombies, carved pumpkins, a cowboy and a wonder woman. Yep, Halloween.
Although I've lived through a few North American Halloweens, doing it with kids is a whole new experience. (Not that watching everyone parade by in Waikiki in 2003 wasn't fun!) Tonite I was with Anne and Michelle and their two younger kids, Kingsley and Ngaire. Big sister Shonagh was out with mates doing their own independent Halloween thing :)
I took a photo or two before we headed out... here they are in their scary glory:
(Sorry about my scary technology - I can't remember how to rotate a photo!)
Anyway, it was a great nite, tripping from house to house up and down local streets in their awesome neighbourhood - heaps of homes had gone to lots of trouble getting all spooky... adults were dressed up, scary movies were projected onto windows, all kinds of garden and house decorations (and a couple of smoke machines) were in front yards, candles shone in carved pumpkins, and some even had soundtracks (those of us who were supervising rather than collecting candy enjoyed Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' at one place)...
And the best bit for me? When Kingsley's mate Brandon saw K emptying his small bucket into the much bigger bag I was carrying so he could keep collecting more loot... and said 'hey you're not supposed to do that!'
Kingsley: "What?"
Brandon: "Give your candy to another trick or treater."
Kinsley: "That's not a trick or treater, that's my Auntie!"
Aaawwww. Who knew a night celebrating all this terrifying would have at its centre, for me at least, this tender and confident moment of love?
Although I've lived through a few North American Halloweens, doing it with kids is a whole new experience. (Not that watching everyone parade by in Waikiki in 2003 wasn't fun!) Tonite I was with Anne and Michelle and their two younger kids, Kingsley and Ngaire. Big sister Shonagh was out with mates doing their own independent Halloween thing :)
I took a photo or two before we headed out... here they are in their scary glory:
(Sorry about my scary technology - I can't remember how to rotate a photo!)
Anyway, it was a great nite, tripping from house to house up and down local streets in their awesome neighbourhood - heaps of homes had gone to lots of trouble getting all spooky... adults were dressed up, scary movies were projected onto windows, all kinds of garden and house decorations (and a couple of smoke machines) were in front yards, candles shone in carved pumpkins, and some even had soundtracks (those of us who were supervising rather than collecting candy enjoyed Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' at one place)...
And the best bit for me? When Kingsley's mate Brandon saw K emptying his small bucket into the much bigger bag I was carrying so he could keep collecting more loot... and said 'hey you're not supposed to do that!'
Kingsley: "What?"
Brandon: "Give your candy to another trick or treater."
Kinsley: "That's not a trick or treater, that's my Auntie!"
Aaawwww. Who knew a night celebrating all this terrifying would have at its centre, for me at least, this tender and confident moment of love?
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