Moe mai ra, e Carmen...

Carmen passed away in Sydney, aged 75. She was the stuff of legend; facebook tributes and news reports following her passing have been heartfelt.

In her poem about Parihaka, JC Sturm writes "If you don't know about Parihaka, be sure your children do."

Tonite I feel the same way about Carmen: if you don't know about Carmen, the fantastic Ngati Maniapoto entertainer, transvestite, businessperson, mayoral candidate and community leader, be sure your children do.

In some ways, perhaps, Carmen was born in the wrong time... but she worked hard to make sure she helped to usher in a world that would be the right time for the next generations... and one of the things that grieves me is the extent to which we still need her.

It's still not an easy place to be takatapui... for many families and communities, being Maori is about being straight. We work so hard for our young people to have the opportunity to be Maori on their own terms... I hope we don't accidentally forget to also work so they have the opportunity to experience, develop and celebrate their gender and sexual identities on their own terms too.

Queer/ Takatapui Maori youth continue to have high suicide rates and high rates of substance abuse, migration overseas, and depression. I don't want to suggest that this is a necessarily fatal story... takatapui youth and adults are not only an unhappy picture, but the unhappy dimensions of the picture are something for which all of us need to take some responsibility.

It breaks my heart that our youth (and some of our adults - shame on them for not knowing any better) still use the term 'fag' as an insult. Homophobia is rife... but our community is affected by other kinds of problems with sexual health (access to sex education, etc) which Carmen spent time working for and advocating. I don't believe (as some do) that the Maori community is any more homophobic than any other community... but this is mostly because I don't think such comparisons get us anywhere. They don't help us think about who we are, the terms on which we want to think about sexuality, who we might become.

There are many stories of Carmen, far more than you or I will ever know. She was dynamic, extraordinary, passionate. Carmen can't be reduced to her activist and symbolic work, but neither should these be forgotten. If you don't know about Carmen, be sure your children do.

Moe mai ra e Carmen... he kotuku rerenga tahi.