Sunday, 13 May 2012
Saturday, 12 May 2012
gaps
The blog hasn't been so regular of late... it's not intentional, so I find myself casting my mind back and wondering what's changed... or what's changing...
Since Tuesday (last blog) I've done quite a bit...
Weds = Daniel came to stay the nite and we went for a good walk in the evening yp the fun part of Bloor St with the good 2nd hand bookshops
Thurs = home during the day then v interesting movie at Jewish Film Festival with Sarah and her family
Fri = good friends Chad and Joel arrived from Columbus for a weekend in Toronto
These are all things that could be written about... but they weren't... I've been busy getting things ready to move, wrapping things up, and tidying up the house... and I've been spending some time staying in touch with someone cool v far away... and the situation at home in NZ with asset sales and child poverty and blatant discrimination on so many counts is begging for a blog post but I just can't muster the energy... but even all of that doesn't explain it all... and I miss writing!
So, thank you to the person who emailed and asked where the blogs are (you know who you are) - it's been nice to remember how muchI love to, well, write.
Since Tuesday (last blog) I've done quite a bit...
Weds = Daniel came to stay the nite and we went for a good walk in the evening yp the fun part of Bloor St with the good 2nd hand bookshops
Thurs = home during the day then v interesting movie at Jewish Film Festival with Sarah and her family
Fri = good friends Chad and Joel arrived from Columbus for a weekend in Toronto
These are all things that could be written about... but they weren't... I've been busy getting things ready to move, wrapping things up, and tidying up the house... and I've been spending some time staying in touch with someone cool v far away... and the situation at home in NZ with asset sales and child poverty and blatant discrimination on so many counts is begging for a blog post but I just can't muster the energy... but even all of that doesn't explain it all... and I miss writing!
So, thank you to the person who emailed and asked where the blogs are (you know who you are) - it's been nice to remember how muchI love to, well, write.
Tuesday, 8 May 2012
routine
Some days are big days, with events and thoughts and ideas and things crossed off lists.
Other days, like today, are smaller days: things continued, things avoided, a walk to the shops for milk, things posted.
Even these small days have their pleasures, though: communication with someone amazing, bright spring flowers and leaves outside the back porch, chocolate milk before bed.
Other days, like today, are smaller days: things continued, things avoided, a walk to the shops for milk, things posted.
Even these small days have their pleasures, though: communication with someone amazing, bright spring flowers and leaves outside the back porch, chocolate milk before bed.
Monday, 7 May 2012
in reverse
Tonite, Nadine and I sat on my porch in the Canadian flag deckchairs and had a gin while the sun went down. At one point, we talked about how strange it is to think that I'll soon be leaving again.
It feels a bit like life is happening in reverse now: I'm doing things for the last time which a few months ago I did for the first. I remember blogging when we first got the deckchairs and sat out the bag for a drink... it was warmer because it was summer, but that's not the only thing that was different.
I had just arrived from NZ, and had high expectations of how much I would get done on sabbatical. I was, I realise, exhausted from my first few years on the job, and was relishing the opportunity to be back closeby to grad school buddies and other friends. Being able to sit on the back porch of my house, while looking at a gigantic library and watching squirrels run around the top branches of the trees in my yard, talking with a good friend about literary theory and our current writing projects felt like an unimaginable luxury. It was, and it still is.
I was going to be heading back to NZ, and now I'm not. I'm not taking everything here in my suitcases on my return trip because some of it will be posted to my new life in Hawai'i. Since the first deckchair drinkies, I have learned about Canadian things like a SIN (Social Insurance Number), OHIP (Ontario health insurance) and poutine (fries with gravy and cheese curds). I've also, more recently, started to learn about US visa categories, American health insurance and academic jobs in the US. If someone had wandered over to my porch last August and said to me 'hi, I can see into the future and this time next year you'll be living in Hawai'i teaching Pacific Literatures at UHM' I would have assumed they had a gin stash of their own! I would have thought it was unimaginable, and to be honest sometimes I still do!
Other things have changed too... haircuts, outfits, research projects, facebook profile shots, affairs of the heart. Yes, team, I'm getting reflective. I'm looking back over the year, seeing it in reverse, looking across the wide scope of things my time here has given me. As I look back, I find that I can't help but smile.
It feels a bit like life is happening in reverse now: I'm doing things for the last time which a few months ago I did for the first. I remember blogging when we first got the deckchairs and sat out the bag for a drink... it was warmer because it was summer, but that's not the only thing that was different.
I had just arrived from NZ, and had high expectations of how much I would get done on sabbatical. I was, I realise, exhausted from my first few years on the job, and was relishing the opportunity to be back closeby to grad school buddies and other friends. Being able to sit on the back porch of my house, while looking at a gigantic library and watching squirrels run around the top branches of the trees in my yard, talking with a good friend about literary theory and our current writing projects felt like an unimaginable luxury. It was, and it still is.
I was going to be heading back to NZ, and now I'm not. I'm not taking everything here in my suitcases on my return trip because some of it will be posted to my new life in Hawai'i. Since the first deckchair drinkies, I have learned about Canadian things like a SIN (Social Insurance Number), OHIP (Ontario health insurance) and poutine (fries with gravy and cheese curds). I've also, more recently, started to learn about US visa categories, American health insurance and academic jobs in the US. If someone had wandered over to my porch last August and said to me 'hi, I can see into the future and this time next year you'll be living in Hawai'i teaching Pacific Literatures at UHM' I would have assumed they had a gin stash of their own! I would have thought it was unimaginable, and to be honest sometimes I still do!
Other things have changed too... haircuts, outfits, research projects, facebook profile shots, affairs of the heart. Yes, team, I'm getting reflective. I'm looking back over the year, seeing it in reverse, looking across the wide scope of things my time here has given me. As I look back, I find that I can't help but smile.
Sunday, 6 May 2012
Journeys and seasons
Today's post is for yesterday. Tomorrow I'll write for today. Things are started to back up on the 'to do' list, and there's a concertina of tasks in my diary. Life is still fine, and wonderful, but the season is changing.
The trees outside my house in Toronto are covered in bright green leaves: baby, fresh, enthusiastic clumps of leaves. Spring in these kinds of places is so clearly marked, and the season it marks for me this year is that it's time to pack up and move again.
In a month I leave my apartment, in six weeks I'm flying to Aotearoa, in three months time I will be living and working in Hawai'i. So many journeys ahead, and such a huge amount of organisation and planning to do... but also, in the middle of it all, what a privilege!
Yesterday (Friday), Aboriginal Studies had a farewell for four of us who are leaving for new adventures: two women who have taught in the dept for a few years, Daniel who has taught there for a decade, and me. We gathered in the Turtle Lounge, spent time together, and those of us leaving had an opportunity to talk. Afterwards, an elder stood up and offered some thoughts about the day.
Quite a few things caught in my mind, and one of them was about the relationship between journeys and knowledge. He looked at us all and reminded us that those who journey carry knowledges with them. We spend quite a bit of time thinking about knowledge being tied to specific places, and it has been good for me to reflect on the responsibility and privilege of carrying knowledges. Carrying knowledges. Not owning them, not controlling them, not managing them. Taking them from place to place, being engaged in a vibrant and complex ecosystem, leaving them where they should be. Carrying things requires organisation, planning, people at each end, thought about containers and vessels and timing.
As I work out the details of the next few weeks and months, I will take the time to reflect on what else I have the privilege to carry with me from place to place. Who will need what? How will I ensure things get there? How shall I carry things? How will I prepare myself so I know I can complete the task ahead?
The trees outside my house in Toronto are covered in bright green leaves: baby, fresh, enthusiastic clumps of leaves. Spring in these kinds of places is so clearly marked, and the season it marks for me this year is that it's time to pack up and move again.
In a month I leave my apartment, in six weeks I'm flying to Aotearoa, in three months time I will be living and working in Hawai'i. So many journeys ahead, and such a huge amount of organisation and planning to do... but also, in the middle of it all, what a privilege!
Yesterday (Friday), Aboriginal Studies had a farewell for four of us who are leaving for new adventures: two women who have taught in the dept for a few years, Daniel who has taught there for a decade, and me. We gathered in the Turtle Lounge, spent time together, and those of us leaving had an opportunity to talk. Afterwards, an elder stood up and offered some thoughts about the day.
Quite a few things caught in my mind, and one of them was about the relationship between journeys and knowledge. He looked at us all and reminded us that those who journey carry knowledges with them. We spend quite a bit of time thinking about knowledge being tied to specific places, and it has been good for me to reflect on the responsibility and privilege of carrying knowledges. Carrying knowledges. Not owning them, not controlling them, not managing them. Taking them from place to place, being engaged in a vibrant and complex ecosystem, leaving them where they should be. Carrying things requires organisation, planning, people at each end, thought about containers and vessels and timing.
As I work out the details of the next few weeks and months, I will take the time to reflect on what else I have the privilege to carry with me from place to place. Who will need what? How will I ensure things get there? How shall I carry things? How will I prepare myself so I know I can complete the task ahead?
Thursday, 3 May 2012
Wednesday, 2 May 2012
shiny
I'm in the airport departure lounge at Minneapolis - about to board a plane bound for Toronto. Home. Not home. Home.
The taxi driver who brought me here from the Uni of Minn was lovely - we chatted the whole way - and when we were talking about the weather here, he said 'yes today was supposed to be shiny.'
Lots of things about the last few days feel shiny... I've had a lovely trip to Minneapolis, hosted beautifully by the crew at American Indian Studies here, and also getting to meet the people at U of M press, the wonderful press who published my book.
After saying goodbye to Mum and Dad at the Toronto airport, and shedding a few tears as they jetted off, I went to wait for my own flight here. This trip was a blessing - an opportunity to come here, and enjoy the people and place here, but also an opportunity to avoid going home straight after the airport to an empty house. Things felt a bit dull after Mum and Dad left, and I feel a bit like I've been gently buffed while I've been here... I miss them, of course, but I've also been given the chance to get my head into the next phase of things: finishing things in Toronto, fulfilling commitments I've made to vairous projects, packing up, moving on.
Minneapolis was lovely: dinner on Sunday nite with Jeani, Brenda and David, three colleagues who are really mentors... more senior than me, with a lot to teach me. Yesterday was lunch, hanging with Jeani, going to the Press, giving my talk on campus, an 'aftermatch' at Jeani's place with colleagues and new friends, and finally - finally - when I got home, a wonderful long session facebook chatting with someone amazing. This morning I slept in (slept in! unthinkable!) and then met friends Evan and Cathy for lunch before coming here. And hearing about how today was supposed to be shiny.
Maybe there are a few clouds in the skies above Minnesota this afternoon, but as for me I have to say my time here has been a tonic. And now I feel, um, shiny :)
The taxi driver who brought me here from the Uni of Minn was lovely - we chatted the whole way - and when we were talking about the weather here, he said 'yes today was supposed to be shiny.'
Lots of things about the last few days feel shiny... I've had a lovely trip to Minneapolis, hosted beautifully by the crew at American Indian Studies here, and also getting to meet the people at U of M press, the wonderful press who published my book.
After saying goodbye to Mum and Dad at the Toronto airport, and shedding a few tears as they jetted off, I went to wait for my own flight here. This trip was a blessing - an opportunity to come here, and enjoy the people and place here, but also an opportunity to avoid going home straight after the airport to an empty house. Things felt a bit dull after Mum and Dad left, and I feel a bit like I've been gently buffed while I've been here... I miss them, of course, but I've also been given the chance to get my head into the next phase of things: finishing things in Toronto, fulfilling commitments I've made to vairous projects, packing up, moving on.
Minneapolis was lovely: dinner on Sunday nite with Jeani, Brenda and David, three colleagues who are really mentors... more senior than me, with a lot to teach me. Yesterday was lunch, hanging with Jeani, going to the Press, giving my talk on campus, an 'aftermatch' at Jeani's place with colleagues and new friends, and finally - finally - when I got home, a wonderful long session facebook chatting with someone amazing. This morning I slept in (slept in! unthinkable!) and then met friends Evan and Cathy for lunch before coming here. And hearing about how today was supposed to be shiny.
Maybe there are a few clouds in the skies above Minnesota this afternoon, but as for me I have to say my time here has been a tonic. And now I feel, um, shiny :)
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